Kids’ First Day of Pre-School

1stdayschool

Finally the time came for me to experience this. All these while, I’d been watching people sending their kids to school and I couldn’t wait for my time. I thought it’s gonna be an all exciting feeling cause that’s what I could see from the pictures. Which was yes, after we have completed the registration for them two, I was so relieved that we finally reached a mutual agreement and felt certain with the decision. Two months to go, the feelings gradually changed and mixed. I was so overwhelmed! I kept on mentioning “they’re going to school soon!” like 20 times a day just to make sure that my husband was aware on that. Haha.

There was nothing much on the preparation. Almost everything was already included in the registration package from the uniforms, school bags and also stationery. Good! That was such a duty discount for me cause I was actually really not well during that period due to my heavy morning sickness.

Reaching the day, I got more and more emotional. I don’t know why… and I never expected this feeling. I even cried a few times knowing the fact that my kids were really going to school soon. The fact that they’ve grown up and are stepping to another phase of life, getting to be more independent and time will run even faster. Suddenly they’ll be in primaries, then primaries end. Secondaries, then secondaries end. In no time they’ll be in college and graduated and that’s it. It’s all gonna be really fast once it’s started and now that it’s going to start already, for real! How can a mother not be disturbed? And so I cried even moreee…!!

Hahaha… That was how dramatic I was. It’s so different from the time when I was to send them to the babysitter at only 2 months old! I was just so cool but now? This is weird, Mom.

In the morning of the first day, Edhany the elder one was all fine to get ready but Errasy was a bit cranky. He’s not used to getting up early so it’s a challenge for us to get him dressed. At school, we arrived early and they started to get excited with the fancy colorful kindy’s interior. When more and more kids came in, there were some of them crying and refusing to be in school. When Edhany saw them like that and that we told him we’re about to leave, he began to cry too! Oh my….. we gotta face this drama too!

It took us a few minutes to calm him down and leave slowly. I thought I would cry the moment I left them to the teachers’ hands but because my kid was already crying, it kinda ruined my touchy-feely mood. Haha.

Back from school when we picked them up, Edhany was fine but Errasy cried! The teacher said it was because he didn’t want to separate from his brother when they’re grouped by class. Oh my little baby! In fact, from our observation, Errasy is the smallest in size among all kids. Well of course, he’s enrolled as a 4-year-old but his actually age is only 3 years and 2 months he’s still so small for this. Plus, he was only successfully potty-trained just a month ago. That’s why I’m a bit fretful for him. But in terms of self-bringing, we believe he’ll do pretty good.

There goes the first day of school that I’d been curiously waiting for. It went normal after all and this is just the beginning, one for the history. Happy pre-schooling kids!!

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As ever,
SALZY

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Goals 2018

When I found out that I was pregnant, I automatically thought to myself that, “Okay, that’s it. There will be nothing about my 2018 but this pregnancy and baby, ONLY.”

Haha. I’ve known myself very well; that’s how I was with my two previous pregnancies. Once the UPT showed that double lines; my mind, my focus everything were all narrowed down to this one journey that would take up 9 months of internal growth and a few months of post-birth concentration.

I constructed an excel sheet pregnancy planner with a 40-week calendar, to-do lists, shopping lists, I checked-out the pregnancy apps every single day to see how the baby was doing inside and I counted down the days to the next check-ups. After birth myself was definitely conquered by the baby and pumping activities; I even jotted down how many ounces of milk I pumped in every session. How look-like-busy!

My brain is so single-minded. I can’t think of many things at one time, I would get distracted easily and nothing will end up done perfectly or as it should be. And all of those many things above are categorized as only ONE thing – Maternity. My two pregnancies had a close gap so the first 3 years after marriage was nothing but all. about. it.

Now, what? I’m pregnant again but I can’t act like how I did before. I have two pre-schoolers and this is a new thing to me. I have more responsibilities at work and most importantly I also have myself who is getting older and has to be taken care with mindfulness. So 2018 is about me juggling important aspects in life while making the best out of me fighting with time and laziness!

I have my goals ready for actions and I’m about to have an ‘erkk’ moment now. Do you know what the ‘erkk’ moment is? It’s when I’m about to share my goals openly, haha. I’m so shyyy but hey, I did this last year and I did not regret it. Now let’s give it a go!

PREGNANCY & BABY

My EDD is in July 2018 so basically the 1st half of the year is me carrying my growing tummy and another 2nd half is me carrying the baby for real. InsyaAllah, may everything go well and smooth with this pregnancy, Ameen. So my plans are divided into two as in before and after birth.

Before

  • Focus myself with religious practice during pregnancy – khatam the Quran once and engage myself with specific surahs, duas and adhkaar during pregnancy. (i.e Surah Luqman, Yusuf & Mariam mainly I knew and I have to search more for others)
  • Have my birth plan ready by 27th week – where to deliver and where to spend confinement period.
  • Prepare adequate necessities for labor and baby by 31 weeks @ mid of May 2018, before Ramadhan begins.
  • Track supplements intake every day using a checklist. I’m really so bad at taking supplements, I sometimes missed it for days.

After

  • Have a proper confinement. Adhere to diet restrictions and eat decent foods; don’t cheat for 44 days!
  • Breast-feed baby fully for one year. Plan my pumping stocks properly. Continue direct breastfeeding until 2 years.
  • Refrain from taking ice and cold water for one year.
  • Work-out on my body especially the tummy. Get rid of those accumulated fats!

HABIT TRACKERS

This one thing sums up many little goals I want to achieve this year. In case you didn’t know, a habit tracker is something like this :

I have been struggling for years to develop certain habits and kept failing until I know that to change myself in total is not a realistic approach. The key is actually to progress. By having a habit tracker, I can see how well I’m doing and can catch up what’s left out.

Honestly, I’m tracking very simple things in my daily lives that I don’t think I have to share, hehe. But these are among the significant things I want to do this year :

Shower early

To wake up early is one thing, but for such a lousy person like me, to just wake up will not make a difference. I could just continue lying on the bed or checking the phone for an hour! To actually get up and shower right away will then make me raring to go and start the day.

Breakfast before 8am

I used to not have breakfast at all, you know? I was (and am still) always a late riser and always have rushed mornings so one thing I’d always skip to save time was my breakfast. Few years ago, I was emphasized about how destroying it is to our body if we don’t take morning meals so since then I never skipped my breakfast anymore. Now I want to improve; I want to have my breakfast early, my target is before 8.

Swim regularly

Because I will jog less this year due to being pregnant, I’m shifting this physical activity to swimming. I’m actually very lazy for this but I really have to. Just like how I dragged my butts off for jog, I believe I can do this too. To swim means to actually swim so I have to allocate my time going down to the pool without the kids. I only know one swimming style and my techniques are still not perfect. I gotta learn and practice more and hope this will benefit my pregnancy.

Cook more often

How often is more often? I don’t know exactly but definitely not every day. Haha, that’s too ambitious for me. Well, I just wanna do better in this department.

Sleep log

I wanna track my sleeping pattern. Fyi, I am a natural mid-night person. I love staying up late and it’s not just during the study time in college, I do it even until now. It’s the time that I’m most productive and focused but I know this is not a good habit. So I need to observe my sleeping time daily to ensure that I have enough sleep – not less and not too much. I still want to stay up but will limit it to only a few times a month.

The rest are all tiny little things or big things but too private to be exposed. All in all, the point is to keep me intact with this tracker as a friendly motivator to become a better version of myself. Good Luck, Self!

READING

This year I don’t allocate a specific genre for me to read because my goal is to finish up all the unread books on my shelves. Last year was the most lavish year for me in spending money on books, so now I still have 26 books that I haven’t touched. I know I will still be buying books at any time of this year because it’s my addiction but most importantly, these 26 books should all be read by the end of 2018.

BLOGGING

Last year I managed to publish 80 posts with 58 posts of my own writings.
This year I aim to publish 100 posts with 70 posts of my own writings. Seriously?

WORK

I want to be more organized at work, be active in my big team, and monitor my KPI closely rather than just twice a year. Most importantly, I want to perform my solat on time. I always got frustrated with myself when it’s already time but I excused myself for only 5 minutes to complete a task but it would end up to only 5 minutes left till the next prayer! Astaghfirullah!

TOASTMASTERS

I will try to not miss any meetings and will increase my level of involvement. I want to participate more in table topics, take up roles and give speeches according to the programme. Pressure!

KIDS’ PROGRESS

No more all play, kids. They have to know something by now especially my 5-year-old Edhany. I don’t know what to expect from the school and I’ve no idea on how things actually work. I will do what I gotta do and just go with the flow.

Last but very not least,

BEAUTY CARE

Let’s get real that aging is real, and I’m turning 32 this year. No matter how much I hold to the principles of being “young at heart” and that “age is just a number”, the reality is undeniable. We all age and our skin is proving the truth. If we don’t make an effort, how can we expect it to stay young forever? I don’t meeeean I wanna look young like a teenager, haha.. But I come to realize that being in 30’s, the process of aging is racing fast and it’s quite visible. I haven’t been really taking care of my skin for many years just because it’s not my priority but heyyy I know I’ll regret this someday so before it’s too late, I gotta do something!

There go my 2018’s resolutions not so briefly. Why do I have to talk so much about this? Haha. I really hope I will walk the talk. Let’s see how this year is going. These all are just my plans, ceteris paribus! InshaAllah.

As ever,
SALZY

Welcome 2018

Hello 2018 and this is my first post of the year! Happy New Year, everyoneee… How has it been? Thank God for the opportunity to still live until this year, breathing new!

I’m always excited about New Year. The 1st of Januaries are always special to me. It’s the time of the year that I feel so renewed, so fresh. Do you feel the same too? Well some might not and think that it’s just another day that makes another year and it happens every year, so what’s the big deal? Yeah, everyone can have his or her own take about New Year and any other days of the year too. That what makes us all different and there’s really no issue about that.

As for myself, a New Year is like a big gift to me. Well of course every day is a gift too but a New Year is a little bit more special as it changes our age. Though my birthday is in April, I already regard myself as 32 as soon as the last number of the date changed from ’17 to ’18. I am 32 already! Unofficially, but Alhamdulillah. Hehe.

I also regard myself as a very date-oriented person. I remember things by date, or at least by month of the year of occurrences – not everything, but most significant things. If I don’t remember a certain thing; that means it’s something I don’t care about. Hehe, I’m kidding. That’s because I’m also just a forgetful human. So again, a New Year means a new series of happenings to be recorded in my newly installed memory box renamed as “2018’s”.

How did you spend your New Year day? Me, I had a simple day with family and friends and we talked about our New Year resolutions. When talked about mine, I told them that I think I don’t have any goals for this year. But actually no, I do have goals for this year, how can I not? Haha. It’s just that it’s not clearly put yet. I can’t have things in mind but not written down, it’s indefinite to me. Hence, this whole first week is about me squeezing time thinking about my 2018 and writing things down clearly. It’s a busy week at work and my kids were also starting school; suddenly the first weekend is here. Time really is running, 2018 is gonna end very fast just like other years.

May this year be another amazing year for you and for me. Let’s do something, make a difference. Don’t just exist, live. Take care and Happy New Year 2018!

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As ever,
SALZY

Recap 2017 (Part 2)

READING, BLOGGING & LEARNING

In overall, I can summarize my focus of this year is of the above three things. I surrounded myself with many books and had a non-ending reading list; I’m a happy me. I blogged as I intended and I learned some things. It’s a contented year I must say despite losing myself at some points of time but all in all, Alhamdulillah.

In the past few years, I was in search of things that I could do to improve my wellbeing and upgrade my financial. I decided to get involved with businesses that I thought could make a side income for me. I was influenced by other people’s success but I forgot that money was not a wise driving factor for me personally. Other people can be very positively fervent being money-driven and can love what they do if it’s promising dollars but me? I’m just so spoilt and being in business is actually not my thing.

When thinking of 2017, I decided to do things that I love and will make me happy. I did just that and I can feel the beauty of following my heart and living simply.

UMRAH

My Umrah Trip in January was the most treasured memory of my life. I’m so grateful for it because what makes it be more meaningful to me was it happened after a huge crisis I faced in the end of 2016. It’s like a gift from Allah and 2017 will forever be a special year to me because of this.

ME-TIME

My kids are growing; they’re not babies anymore. I can feel that motherhood gets easier and less demanding compared to the years after birth. My husband can now handle the kids without me so they always had boys’ outings without Mom, doing boys thingy. And me, I’m having so much (or enough) me-time alone at home! I believe mothers would agree with me that me-time is such a luxury for us. It’s something that I really struggled about in the early years of motherhood. This year was such a honeymoon for me and I know this comfort won’t last. Soon my kids are going to school and that will add new responsibilities to me and I’m ready for that.

TOASTMASTERS

I joined Toastmasters in May 2017 and it’s the beginning of another notable journey for me. Speaking in front of many people, speaking impromptu took a lot of courage in me and it’s not just a piece of cake. I’m glad I did it anyway and I’m very consistent in attending the meetings. I happened to join the new Pathways programme and I’m quite clueless about the new format. I hope the momentum won’t drop and I’ll be more proactive in planning my speeches.

 MOVING HOUSE

It’s something unpredictable, gave us headache but made a good shift, anyway. For the record, it was our first move after 5 years of marriage with two kids.

FINANCIAL

I remember ranting about this in my Recap-2016 and too bad, it is the same again this time. Oh my God. I don’t mean to complain but for real, life is getting tougher and tougher financially. Look at the economy, the cost of living in KL nowadays honestly its killing. When it comes to money, it’s all about surviving months to months and every payday makes a “phewwww, we survived!” kinda relief. Or is this just a phase that we have to go through? We began building life for a better future but it’s also taking its toll on us. This is just a phase, I keep telling myself. I don’t mean to blindly rant but I want to remember this significant chapter of our journey. Things will change sooner or later and after all, it’s all about the rezeki that we totally have to rely on Allah and rezeki is not just about money! Shukr for everything.

HEALTH AND WELLNESS

Alhamdulillah, it’s another healthy year for us with only slight illnesses sometimes. The kids were down to fever about 3 times this year and the worst was in September during Hajj Eid. We didn’t really raya that time. The rest was okay.

My parents turned 59 this year. They’re in good health but of course not as perfect as they’re oldster already. My dad’s diet is quite affected since a year ago; he’s turning very thin. My mom has been fine except recently she’s having problem with her ears or hearing and it’s causing her vertigo and had to undergo some tests. It got better after medications and didn’t have to further any more procedures. It’s kinda worrying to hear such things. Turning into 6 series next year, I pray for their health to always be in the best condition. Ameen.

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My beloved Abah & Mama

BIG FAMILY

In summary, my side welcomed a new niece in August; baby Amanda Sofyia – my brother’s second daughter. And another brother got engaged which means we’ll be welcoming a new in-law next year. May Allah ease the plan. No new addition on my husband’s side, everyone is growing existing families.

NEW PET

Should this be a highlight? Of course! Haha. We have a new resident in this home and it’s a bird. It’s a small type of parrot called a Budgie bird and my son named her as “Somey-somey”. Haha. It’s supposed to be “Comel-comel” but Edhany lisps the letter “C” so that’s what happened. It’s all about the kids anyway; it’s what they wished for because kids love animals! Except me when I was a kid. Haha. Began on 4th December of 2017 and more updates on this in later post.

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Somey-somey 🙂

KIDS GOING TO SCHOOL

Or actually, kindergarten. Last year, we were contemplating about sending our 4-year-old son to school this year. There is a choice whether to basically start them at 4 or 5 years old. We were totally not mentally ready for the new commitment and decided to begin in 2018 with both boys going at the same time. It was just kindy but really a big deal for us to actually decide the best for our kids. I cannot imagine determining universities later. We studied things carefully, tawakkal as much and signed up this one. Next week is the time and I’ve been having mixed feelings knowing the fact that my babies are heading to another phase of life!! How time flies.

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Kindy stuff  of Little Caliphs

I’M PREGNANT

I’m pregnant of baby number 3. Alhamdulillah :). After months of contemplating whether or not we should be adding a new member in this family, it finally happened at the time we least expected it. I discovered this pregnancy in November and now I’m in the 12th week. Since then, morning sicknesses got so dominant I don’t have control over my body anymore. It happened to be in the year-end – the time of the year that I usually got really eager preparing for the New Year from the planner-stuff, goals settings and recapping memories all that but this time? I was just all lying down at home for many weeks and gone on MC for many days. Too bad, too bad but finally in this final week of 2017 I get up and fight all that. The whole year has been so good I can’t just end it like nothing happens. So here I am, wrapping up my 2017 in two posts that I will want to re-read one day. Now let’s keep all the pregnancy stories of the first trimester in a special post in 2018! Maybe this blog will return to its original purpose which was a Motherhood blog, right? Will see…! Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah and welcome “Lil’ in Me No. 3”.

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Positive 🙂

THE END

That’s all about it. I love this year very much. Good Bye 2017.

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Till the next post,
SALZY

Recap 2017 (Part 1)

It’s December now let’s recapppp….!! Wow it’s so overwhelming. It’s the time of the year that we rewind our minds to re-walk the year that we flipped day by day, we thought we’re moving slowly but actually 365 days have been folded without we even realized it!

What happened to our goals that we set up in the beginning? Gulp! I must cringe a little thinking of this cause I know I don’t accomplish everything in my list. Do you gulp too? Would you think to just forget it and it’d be better to start with a fresh set of goals for 2018? No guys! Stop right there. The New Year can wait and this soon-to-be an old year needs a proper goodbye. No matter how lousy we thought a year has been, when we look closely we could actually identify even more blessings in disguise. Maybe we don’t accomplish what we wanted to but something else slips in out of our expectation and makes the year be more meaningful than how we planned it to be. Who knows?

Earlier this year I posted my Goals 2017 in this post My 2017 Has Just Started. So let’s go through it again one by one. Don’t laugh okay? =D

new-year-resolutions-2017

SPIRITUAL – Learn harfiyah (Qur’an translation by words)
Not accomplished. Huhu.. My target was only to start learning and cover just three pages of Surah Al-Baqarah but still I didn’t manage to realize it. I did start and try to learn from a book I bought from the Pesta Buku KL in May but honestly I couldn’t follow the teaching, it’s not as easy as I thought and slowly it’s abandoned, I’m back to referring the tafseer as usual. And so it’s a mission not accomplished but, but.. I’m not giving up. I will try again, restart and find a more systematic way of learning the Quranic language. I hope I’ll make it someday.

SPIRITUAL – Memorize a number of surah in Juzu’ 30
Checked. I focused on this in the Ramadhan month revising the surah that we easily articulated when we were a kid but growing up? Most are forgotten, or just me in this case. Surah Lazim only? Because they’re short and within my ability. Hehe. I’m really so bad at memorizing. Another reason is that, those surahs are the ones that we usually recite in our prayers. In the book 33 Ways in Developing Al-Khushoo’ – Humility and Devotion in Prayer, it says that one of the ways to increase our khushoo’ when praying is by varying the surah that we recite after the Al-Fatihah rather than just repeating the same ones in all prayers. It will make us be more focused and careful with our recitation and it’s also a sunnah. It’s what done by the Prophet (pbuh). And so I had with me this book below that I bought from the Pesta Buku as well. It’s like a children’s book but it’s so good for us adult too because it has the Surah as usual, the normal translations and also translations by words. And also an asbab al-nuzul with conclusions of the histories. It’s making my memorization easier and more effective. Truly a good revision and I managed to cover a number of surahs that I have actually forgotten. This practice shouldn’t stop. I will have to continue with more surah and keep repeating the current ones too because forgetting is easy.

Surah Lazim

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PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT – Learn lettering art
I did it!! Calligraphy was really an impossible thing for an ugly handwriting like me but slowly, finally I could flow the pen and create nice wordings at the very least! I actually joined a calligraphy class once just to find out that after all it’s a skill that I have to nurture and be patient with myself. It takes time and I almost gave up but the one who encouraged me to continue doing it was my own husband who joined my lettering activities at home and produced many pretty creative letterings and doodles too. I’m enjoying this!

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My amateur piece of work

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT – Learn to ride a motorbike
In my dream. Haha. I don’t know why I set this as my goal because when I thought of doing it, I doubted my purpose. My husband was all ready to coach but I was so reluctant and kept delaying it. Eventually, this goal is buried.

HEALTH – Do health screening & dental checkup
Done health screening but missed my dental checkup. Oops!

HEALTH – Exercise regularly
Yes I did, which I mean by simple morning exercises. Regularly? Yes, but I did not track myself. Sometimes I missed it for many weeks but I can say, overall, for the whole year it’s something that I did constantly. I should track myself closer next year.

HEALTH – Jog weekly
I did itttt!!! Allow me to be proud of myself as I managed to pull myself through the year doing something that I hadn’t been doing for years! Seriously I couldn’t recall the last time I actually exercise and jog regularly cause it’s been too long ago but this year I managed to drag myself down to the park at least once a week, sometimes twice a week and jogged until I feel tired. Hehehe. My office has this monthly Fun Walk & Jog programme after work so I never missed it. On Wednesdays and Fridays we’re allowed to wear casuals so always I am ready with sport shoes from home. My office campus is a pleasant area to jog around so I’d shut down early, go down and run before my husband arrives to pick me up. In June, we moved to a new apartment that has this gym facility so I started gym-ming with my husband but erm, I’m not used to running on a treadmill so I don’t enjoy it much. Jogging at the park is more fun! Well, I’m still not really fit physically as I don’t push myself so hard cause I don’t want to be demotivated. The point is just to get off my arse and keep doing it so once this has become a habit, I will increase my level of physical challenge. Chewah!

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Fun Walk & Jog @ Bangsar South

ROMANCE – More dating (without kids)
Yes, we did it, everyday. Every morning at breakfast, on our way to work after sending the kids to the babysitter. Are those considered a date? Haha. We had movie dates twice and other couple times were usually in between running errands. Romantic much?

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At our favourite breakfast spot in PJ

ROMANCE – Communicate better
Not properly defined so how do I evaluate this? Haha

FAMILY – Family holidays at Langkawi
Noooo… 😦

FAMILY – Playtivities with kids
Hurm, guess I did this only in the first half of the year. Was so enthusiastic with so many ideas from the Facebook I prepared one activity after another during the weekends. I lost momentum after the Raya period and did less fancy activities with the kids after that. Oh, Mommmm….!

CAREER – Move to other position or department
This was actually my main focus of the year. I really wanted to shift cause I was triggered by my close colleagues who left for better offers. But you know when you’ve tried but luck is not on your side, how would you perceive it then? Me, I simply thought it’s just not my rezeki yet and I was kinda disappointed. Until a friend told me that it’s not that it’s not my rezeki at other places, but actually my rezeki is there in my position now. So why should I leave? It opens my eyes and makes me realize so many good things I am benefitting here so why should I trouble myself at other unpredictable environment? I remind myself again that it’s really important to be happy at the workplace so if I’m now happy, what else matters? Can’t I just be thankful? Earlier today during the KPI review I told my leader that I cancelled my intention that I told her earlier this year and that I wanna stay with the team. Hahaha.

CAREER – Join events as committee
Yesss.. I am a member of the CSR Club in my office and I did involve in the programmes and it’s so much fun!

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Wishing Tree Event by BP BSC Asia CR Club @ Pediatric Institute HKL, Nov 2017

FINANCE – Creative savings
Haha. What I meant by creative savings was actually saving money by keeping a particular color of notes and never spending it. It’s again an idea from the FB. For example, keeping all the green 5-dollar notes, or yellow 20-dollar notes so by the end of the year they’re gonna make a striking color mountain. So where’s my mountain now?? I built it! But volcano happened. Hahahaha failed!!

FINANCE – More sedeqah
Let’s keep this undisclosed, shall we?

FUN & RECREATIONS – Join volunteer activities for charity
Once onlyyyy.  I joined a friend go to a Refugee Centre to spend time with the kids teaching and playing with them. Nice one. I wanted to join more external parties a.k.a NGOs for these activities but at this phase, I’m quite family-bound so it’s kinda not practical for me to leave the kids for outside programmes. Well I should find something that can involve them as well, right?

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At UNCHR Refugee Centre

FUN & RECREATIONS – Organize birthday party for Errasy
Also not done and I don’t want to promise anything next year. Huh!

SOCIAL – Outdoor potluck with Rockchicks
We had this! Yeay.. I really wanted to have this agenda with the girls but another friend has voiced it out earlier and organized such a fun picnic at the Botani Park, Putrajaya. Cool!

SOCIAL – Keep in touch with far friends
I meant not through Facebook, but through personal Whatsapp or calls. But hurm, I’m still missing many of my people.

OTHERS – Reading diet
Books on Religion – checked.
Biographies – checked.
Places – not checked. This answers why I am travelling nowhere, durh!

OTHERS – Blogging
As you can seeee 😉

Okay doneee recapping my goals list of 2017. Overall, it’s an average accomplishment I would say? Some checked, some not checked and it’s always like that for every year. Haha.

Heyyy…this post is too long already but I am not finished yet. I still have a lot to talk about this year, so? To be continued in Part 2!

Till the next post,
SALZY

Book of the Year

At year-ends, I usually will scan through my bookshelves and pick the best books I’ve read throughout the year. Those are the ones that I rated 4 and 5 stars and feel they deserved to be re-read.

Because I’m running out of time in this year (as if like it can’t be written next year, haha) let me just highlight only one particular book that I really love, one that I’m so attached to at the moment. It is the Quranic Wisdom by Maulana Wahiduddin Khan.

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Bought at the Pesta Buku Antarabangsa Kuala Lumpur (PBAKL) 2017.
Booth : Dakwah Corner.

As per the title, this book aims to convey the wisdoms presented by the Almighty by highlighting the basic theme in the Quran which is THE CREATION PLAN OF GOD. The coverage is comprehensive of so many subjects that in the end will relate back to this basic theme and will make us understand the primary purpose of this life in a sense of the divide plan. It’s like reading an extension of Quran translation.

It’s a really good read; each topic is only about 2 to 4 pages. Some points are repetitive hence the more we read, the more we understand the concept it’s talking about. This is my Book of the Year.

Till the next post,
SALZY

A Stranger That Inspires

I think it’s a bit weird for me to be talking about someone that I never knew. In fact, I never knew this person at all when she was still alive. Just right after she left this world, then only I got to know about her existence. A stranger that I couldn’t identify any mutual acquaintance between us, not even one. Nonetheless, the story of her life has gripped my heart in a very mesmerizing way.

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Photo Source : Instagram @nikidznidalila

 

The Late Nik Idzni Dalila Binti Nik Mahmud – a grown girl, 25-year-old when she passed on, a student then a doctor, a wife, a cancer-fighter.

The day that she passed away on 27th December 2016, the social media has gone viral by the news. I was first not interested with it but the level of “virality” was so high that everyone was sharing the posts with crying emoji and I kept seeing the husband and wife’s pictures with screenshotted captions crossing through my timeline. Too much, I thought…‘What’s the hype?’ So I clicked on.

From one article to another, one Instagram post to the next, scrolling and scrolling, I then became very perplexed! It’s so like a made-up story. This girl was diagnosed with stage 4 kidney cancer, still wanted to continue study, stayed far away from home, found love to a very devoted guy, got married though she’s in that condition, finished studies, became a doctor, health got worse, resigned, came back home, passed away on the very first wedding anniversary! Are these all true?? I didn’t believe it’s a real story, did you?

I stalked all the pictures and was also directed to her blog. Days spent reading almost everything, it was first really heart-breaking but as I read and read, I found that this girl was truly a living proof of miracle! Her life, her illness, her very strong self, put together made one of a kind character that taught me so much real life lessons and impacted me in a way that left me thinking and reflecting about so many things in my life. I was like given answers I’ve been puzzling for so long. And what made me felt more touched was because all these things came through someone who’s no longer around. One whom I don’t and won’t ever get the chance to know in person. A stranger, but truly a godsend that had inspired me through her words she left visible.

I believe there were many other people in kinda similar situations like her but maybe she’s the one that Allah chose to flick my heart and send His messages to me. I learnt from her that being sick is truly a blessing from Allah, it’s not an unfortunate event, not a bad luck. That’s how we always perceived bad things – not just sickness but any difficulties. The way she treated this test from Allah was really extraordinary. She recognized every blessing she gained despite having the cancer and chose to be grateful for everything. When I felt like how lucky she was to be herself, I asked myself; ‘She’s sick, she got c.a.n.c.e.r, she died at only 25… How could I say she’s lucky for all that?’ From there I understand the true meaning of “blessing” in a way that I never deeply thought of.

She inspired me to blog. You know I’d been contemplating to blog for so long. I had long lists of things discouraging me from taking the plunge but most of all was because I feared that I’d regret of what I write myself. I was afraid that in future I realize what I’ve written was all crap. I was scared of being fooled by my own words. But in her blog profile she said this;

A single statement above was like resolving all my contemplations. She’s so full of courage to say this, I was so moved. I can read hundreds of blogs and get inspired, I can read fancy popular blogs and feel enthusiastic to do the same but nothing, nothing really beats my doubt to actually get started. 5 days after her passing, the New Year slipped in and I delayed no more. That’s how it started with many more blogging inspirations I obtained implicitly from her. Truly, she’s the reason for this.

In January this year, I went for Umrah and it was about a month after I knew about this wonderful soul. On my last round; I performed the Badal Umrah for her. It was just spontaneous when I was about to pronounce my niat, I thought of her in my mind so I dedicated the Umrah for her. After I completed the Badal Umrah, I was drawn with a sense of guilt in me. I doubted my action about doing it for her, who was a total stranger. I knew it was already my fourth round of Umrah, all our late relatives have been covered for Badal (by my mom and brother as well) but I still felt that I should’ve prioritized at least someone that I knew in person, not an unknown at all to me. But it’s all done, I wondered why must I still feel that way? I returned home with this unsettled feeling.

Back home, I told my husband about this ‘conflict’ within me. I thought I just wanted to express my feelings but finally my husband came out with something so relieving. He said; “It’s okay, you don’t have to feel this way. Maybe that was a blessing from Allah to her, through you. Maybe when the time you want to niat that, Allah made you think of no one else but her, though she’s just a stranger to you. It’s Allah’s will specially for her; I guess it’s nothing to be felt guilty of?”

I felt like a heavy load in my heart was vanished at all. That was really, really, really calming. Because true! I did not plan that? Her name instantly crossed my mind at that very moment. Indeed it’s Allah’s will, I feel so overwhelmed to be clarified this way. Because if really that’s how Allah blessed her for the strong faith she kept through her tough times in the dunya, isn’t it an ultimate success? Think that, if everything that we have to go through in life is to promise Allah’s blessings for us in the hereafter, what else matters? T_T

I just hope that my Umrah obligations were all valid and accepted and from up there, she would gain the rewards too. May Allah forgive her sins, grant her Jannah and reunite her with all her loved ones one day. This world is indeed temporary; we all will be there too.

It’s been exactly a year since the day she returned to the Creator, and it’s been a year too I’m living life through her wisdoms. If I were to be asked; who is one person that has changed my life in 2017? I’d say it’s definitely her. On earth, we’re two total strangers that had never met eyes, never crossed paths. But in two different worlds, I feel so related to her and this connection I believe comes from Allah as spiritual guidance for me to cruise this life more wisely. Thank you Stranger, for all the things you had done.

Rest in peace, Allahyarhamah Nik Idzni Dalila Binti Nik Mahmud (1991-2016)

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Photo Source : Instagram @nikidznidalila

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Till the next post,
SALZY