I Forgive You, Daddy (Part 2)

Warning : This is a book review and it contains spoiler.
Genre : Non-fiction / Memoir | Rating : 5 stars

Excuse me? I am NOT done yet! For a book that is so emo-raging, psychotic and full of nightmares, I can’t just move on after writing a short review. I have a lot more to say, things that were disturbing my mind out of frustration thinking of the fate that struck this person, Lizzie.

Here are my personal extractions, three specific aspects that I wanna touch from the whole story; ones that make me feel so deeply moved. It may be a bit deviating from the actual topic but if you wanna read my review just on the book generally, it’s in my previous post here.

First, a father is the biggest influence in a child’s life.

This book mainly tells about the author’s horrible father who abused her mentally, physically and sexually. The father was the irresponsible one, the cruel one, the reason of all her miseries. But I tell you, the mother was no less! The mother was also alcoholic and she’s helpless at all. She was also irresponsible and physically abusive, and did not protect her even after she knew Lizzie was raped. Not as bad as the father but she was just typically hopeless. Her damaged childhood was the mistake of both of the parents, actually.

But, the title of the book is “I Forgive You, Daddy”, not “I Forgive You, Mummy & Daddy”. It really shows how a father’s actions could be so impactful towards the whole life of a person. A father determines the kind of person he’s raising through his natural guidance. And a child is naturally hopeful towards the father, rather than the mother, to be the lead of his/her life so when this is betrayed, the impact is gonna be so bad, really bad.

It’s not that a mother’s presence is not vital but from the story, it seems like Lizzie has this soft spot in her heart for her mother. She pitied her mother for being like that and knew it was all because of her dad.

I’ve heard of this once ~ “A broken child, is the failure of the father.” Not sure where to quote this from but it somehow makes sense. Some time ago I had this group conversation with, one of them, a lawyer-friend who specialized in Shari’ah Law and out of nowhere the topic was about a child’s custody after divorce.

It was just a casual chat but I was so surprised to know that in Islam, the principal custody for children after 7 and 9 years old (boy-girl) actually belongs to the father, not the mother! The mother may have the rights when the kids are babies up until those ages but after that they should be under the father’s custody. Even if the mother had the custody earlier, after reaching the stipulated ages, the father can like re-open the case to get the custody back and if all things right, he’ll definitely have the chance to win it. Whyyyyyyy??

Well, she said, of course our law is also very much concerned on women’s rights that anything can be fought after. But in the first place, the reason why the father has the primary rights on the kids is because, it is their res.pon.si.bi.li.ty. It’s more to their responsibility to educate them, to raise them to become the true caliphs on the earth. It’s the special power and capability given to a man that we called ‘Father’.

What about a mother? A mother is in a position to be pregnant for them, to take care of the pregnancy, to give birth, to breastfeed them and to nurture them with love and affection in the early years of life. Those are our responsibilities through the maternal nature granted in us. I come to realize that this is why we actually cannot question why do we women have to go through all these maternity pain and struggles, why not the men? In fact they’re not given wombs so it’s not their responsibility anyway. And in larger fact, later they will have a much bigger responsibility to shape the children to become human. And that is wayyyyy tougher job one must bear. Question is; are all fathers holding this responsibility in full trust?

I pity single mothers who got to face all these problems when they’re divorced – I mean the custody thing. No mothers would wanna let go the precious easily but if this is put in accordance to the religion, if the father is responsible and good, it’s actually okay to let the kids be under the father’s custody, right? Yeah, some men failed as a husband but not as a father. But sadly, we live in a community that if the custody was agreed to be under the father, then this mother will face humiliation from around her that she doesn’t love the kids enough and whatnot. What a sickening world is this!!

Okay I’ve gone too far already. The facts on Islamic custody were only based on the casual conversation I had so that may be lack of much info – disclaimer. Of course in parenting, together or separated, both parents have to play the roles together but how Islam put it in specific somehow tells us the influence each of the parents has on the children in living their lives. In growing up, a father is indeed the biggest influence in a child’s life.

Oh My God why am I talking so long about this?? I’m reaching my entry word-limit already but know what? I’m still not finished. To be continued…Part 3! Weeeeee…..

As ever,
SALZY

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Cough Syrup for Pregnant Women

To all preggy mothers out there, if you’re having cough during pregnancy and in search of medicines to sooth your throat and subside your cough finally, I would like to share this particular cough syrup that you can take that is effective and most importantly, it’s confirmed pregnancy-safe.

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Prospan Cough Syrup with Dried Ivy Leaf Extract

I consumed this during my second pregnancy and also in this third pregnancy recently and it cured my very bad cough in less than a week. You can have a try. Any sickness, please do not let it be prolonged just because you’re not wanting to take in any medicine during pregnancy, okay? As long as it’s confirmed safe by doctors and gynae, just consume it and be healthy back again. I parked it here for anyone’s reference and mine too!

As ever,
SALZY

Book of the Year

At year-ends, I usually will scan through my bookshelves and pick the best books I’ve read throughout the year. Those are the ones that I rated 4 and 5 stars and feel they deserved to be re-read.

Because I’m running out of time in this year (as if like it can’t be written next year, haha) let me just highlight only one particular book that I really love, one that I’m so attached to at the moment. It is the Quranic Wisdom by Maulana Wahiduddin Khan.

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Bought at the Pesta Buku Antarabangsa Kuala Lumpur (PBAKL) 2017.
Booth : Dakwah Corner.

As per the title, this book aims to convey the wisdoms presented by the Almighty by highlighting the basic theme in the Quran which is THE CREATION PLAN OF GOD. The coverage is comprehensive of so many subjects that in the end will relate back to this basic theme and will make us understand the primary purpose of this life in a sense of the divide plan. It’s like reading an extension of Quran translation.

It’s a really good read; each topic is only about 2 to 4 pages. Some points are repetitive hence the more we read, the more we understand the concept it’s talking about. This is my Book of the Year.

Till the next post,
SALZY

I Couldn’t Find Words

Hi! I couldn’t find worddds! Haaa…currently fasting for Ramadhan (this post is scheduled forward). Slow down on the net but having a few titles in my list to blog about but at the moment, I just couldn’t find words. Maybe due to the hungry effect but I had quite heavy meal during sahur, and it’s just 10 am now! It doesn’t make sense, self.

Been writing a quarter-way through just to fathom out what am I actually talking about? It’s usually the intro para. Will kick start with something else, typing and typing up until more than 100 words and still couldn’t connect with the topic I was supposed to write in the first place.

Something is wrong. When I have free time like this, the brain just won’t deliver. When I am busy with so many things in mind and my hands and feet are all occupied, ideas are also pouring. And suddenly you know, when you have ideas crossing through, you won’t wanna let it be gone forgotten. So you hold, you hold with your eyes rounding and mouth mumbling to keep those ideas stay in your mind. You’re still moving, still being busy, but now everything works in an auto-mode. See how wonderful humans can be. After a while, your mind is back to reality and all you know is that your errands are all done. The difference is whether it’s well done, or worst done!

Is it you? Or just me??

That’s about it. Sometimes, we can’t force our mental and physical to sync. They are their own selves, to be catered exclusively. Haaa what is that?? I am purely babbling non-sense here. If you’re still reading until this word, you have been wasting your time about 5 minutes. I have no point honestly.. I just couldn’t find words. Oh, don’t curse. I’ll be back with a nifty piece! Toodles.

Till the next post,
SALZY

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

Assalamualaikum, welcome to my blog and welcome 2017! Today is 1st of January 2017, the day I re-enter this blog. It’s been more than four years since my last post before I abandoned this blog for so long.

The baby in my tummy was already born and he’s a big boy now! Not only that, he even has a little brother already! Haha.. how time flies with so many things happened in between.

Today I decided to blog again. Actually not today, it’s been like 2 years I feel like I wanted to blog but I’ve been procrastinating myself. So it’s my new year resolution to start blogging again. Blogging is always something that I love to do but it’s a commitment. Now I pledged to make time and effort to write habitually because this is actually my little passion.

At 12 midnight with the background of fireworks sound and people screaming happy new year! happy new year! at my apartment now, I switched on my laptop and googled my own blog. Luckily I managed to find my old email and reset my password and yeay here I am.

I promise to keep writing and will not abandon this ever again! Wow, typical new year spirit on the very first day of the year right? And it will remain for the month of January. After that? Krik krik? Haha. Hopefully not. I’m gonna make it. I know I’m gonna make it.

May this New Year bring us all new joy, new hope, new inspiration, new goals and new achievements with new taste of life.

Till the next post,
SALZY