I Forgive You, Daddy by Lizzie McGlynn

Warning : This is a book review and it contains spoiler.
Genre : Non-fiction / Memoir | Rating : 5 stars

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My General Review

This is a story of Lizzie’s life, the author herself, that was full of sufferings as a consequence from her father’s evil deeds throughout her lifetime since she was a very little girl. She was raped and beaten so abusively and nobody was on her side to protect her perpetually; not even her mother, social workers, nor the court. In fact, she’s the one taking responsibilities of her family’s wellbeing to survive whilst fighting with internal crime. Her life went on with a series of unfortunate events even after her father died, she had to fight severe depression that resulted from her detrimental childhood. She later suffered of frequent mental disorder and various illnesses due to internal damages she had since young.

It’s a very emotional read to me. It’s very sad for a little girl to have faced those ruins that were made by her own father, one who supposed to take care of her with full responsibilities. I’d been having growls of fury in my stomach from chapters to chapters reading all the things she experienced from the abuse, to the bullying in school for being the messy kid others not wanting to get near.

I swear no child deserves that kind of life. All children deserve a happy childhood and it’s the responsibility of the parents or the guardians to provide it to them, not their responsibility to find it on their own! There was an episode of her struggling to tag along with this group of friends going out for fun even though she knew she’s not welcomed and all avoided. It’s just because she really wanted to feel the normal teenage life for once! I cannotttt…!! T_T

It was even harrowing to know the confusing feelings she had in her tender years for not knowing what sexual harassment was and thought it was normal though she not liked it and felt weird being treated that way. Sometimes, the father (and also other men she was given to) did it in a way that made her ‘feel nice’ while at times he unleashed it as the punishment of anything she did wrong and those made her feel guilty of her own and that everything that happened was all her mistakes. It’s a manipulation that muddled an innocent girl’s mind who didn’t understand anything that happened to her. Cruel much!!

I believed not everyone can further read this book as the horrifying facts were so distressing. After all, it’s a true story that explores the life of an ill-fated woman from the bottom of her heart and it’s a worthy read to reflect how life can actually be so tragic. This book broke me down.

As ever,
SALZY

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Book of the Year

At year-ends, I usually will scan through my bookshelves and pick the best books I’ve read throughout the year. Those are the ones that I rated 4 and 5 stars and feel they deserved to be re-read.

Because I’m running out of time in this year (as if like it can’t be written next year, haha) let me just highlight only one particular book that I really love, one that I’m so attached to at the moment. It is the Quranic Wisdom by Maulana Wahiduddin Khan.

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Bought at the Pesta Buku Antarabangsa Kuala Lumpur (PBAKL) 2017.
Booth : Dakwah Corner.

As per the title, this book aims to convey the wisdoms presented by the Almighty by highlighting the basic theme in the Quran which is THE CREATION PLAN OF GOD. The coverage is comprehensive of so many subjects that in the end will relate back to this basic theme and will make us understand the primary purpose of this life in a sense of the divide plan. It’s like reading an extension of Quran translation.

It’s a really good read; each topic is only about 2 to 4 pages. Some points are repetitive hence the more we read, the more we understand the concept it’s talking about. This is my Book of the Year.

Till the next post,
SALZY

Arranging My Bookshelves on Goodreads

I think I’m funny. I played around with the Goodreads apps browsing and adding books only to know that I created 10 shelves in total! Haha… Who on earth needs 10 virtual bookshelves when you can actually load thousands of books in only one default Read shelve with no-collapse assurance? Me, and I have my own justification. :p

Here’s the list of my shelves :

bookshelves

Four Read shelves labelled by years? That’s triggered by my date-oriented nature that really thinks I need to group my books based on the year read. If possible, I wanna sub-group them by months, hehe. But of course it’s not necessitous and as years pass by; it’s gonna be so messy to have these 2018, 2019, 2020 and so forth. I think I will just cancel the rest and only maintain the current year and the default read shelve for older books.

Just for now, I wanted to see my collections since 2015 – the year I revisited this hobby after abandoning it for quite some time. My God I’m so good at abandoning things even they’re some sort of entertainment to me. How could it be, self?

Well, I can say that was since I got married or more factually, married to a no-bookworm. My husband, he doesn’t read books! We still remember a moment in the beginning of our relationship; the ice-breaker phase. On the phone, we talked about our favourites and I told him about my reading pastime. I went on and on talking about my favourite books, this book and that book. And he was like.. clueless. Didn’t know what to reply vis-à-vis books and so he tactically diverted the topic into movies. So then we talked about movies. No more books. Haha. It’s funny to recall it now yet funnier to realize that I didn’t grasp that hint telling me that we’re so contradict so why did I marry this man?! Hahaha..

And so 2015 was the year I returned to reading as I was setting up my goals for the New Year, I searched for things that could activate my brain other than just fulfilling my to-do list with the never-ending house chores and life errands. My current collections are all starting from only 2 years ago and it’s growing I’m loving it!

Moral is, even though we don’t marry someone who shares the same interests with us and even if our spouses are more dominant in influencing us to follow their stuff, it doesn’t mean we have to give up things that we love to do. Sometimes we tend to abandon them just because we donned our head with multiple hats. But hey, don’t let our concerns toward others steal the concern over our own selves, okay? While my husband is not a book lover like I am, that wouldn’t space a distance between us.

Till the next post,
SALZY

I’m on Goodreads

Hi everyone! I’m now on Goodreads. If you have an account, feel free to add me, ya? 🙂

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Source : Google

I have always been to Goodreads to see some book review or most times to find books from specific authors but I didn’t really maintain my own. Only recently, I downloaded the apps on my phone and I think it’s easier now to update my books so I decided to revive the account with my reading collections.

Now I am busily loading the read shelve with the books I have read all my life. (Really? No.) Just as much as I could recall because some are not in my possession anymore. Those that I’ve read in my college years, maybe my mom had dumped them all. So I’m trying to recall those that I really loved so I can keep them in my Goodreads before they’re totally forgotten.

As for book reviews, I will only work forward. From my currently reading to the next book I’ll be reading. Can’t afford to write for every previous one but you can check the star rating I gave.

Is this fun? I think so. I always have something to comment post-reading so Goodreads will be a good place for me to pour some thoughts, at least for my own reference in the future.

I love reading because really sometimes, a book can make me cry, a book can chuckle for two seconds or even make me smile all day. On the other hand, a book can also cause a debate between me and my Husband! He doesn’t simply accept things that I share though I thought it’s interesting. He will question my points to dry my brain and will come out with his points for me to ponder, where in the first place I thought I was the one who wanna make him ponder! How annoying but I guess, that’s how we grow.

If a book is extra meaningful to me and more elaborative to review, I will definitely dedicate a post in this blog. Always, a book can change or set my perspectives on things. That’s when I need to express it out. So, Happy Goodread-ing!

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Till the next post,
SALZY

Snap a Picture & Talk about It

JemyAira

Happened to be, it’s TV. So what’s up with TV I am going to talk about? I guess let me reveal to you about my behaviour when watching TV. Just so you know when it comes to watching drama on TV, I’m a very expressive person. If the story is funny, I’d laugh my lungs out. If it’s a tearjerker, I’d cry a river that will flow into oceans. Romantic scenes like above, blinking heart eyes. Suspense, I’d panic like I’m the one to be killed or being chased. I would go OMGGGG, Noooo, Dammit!!, Huwarrrr to the highest pitch so whoever watching with me around would surely get annoyed with this temperament but what can I say? When I start gluing my butts in front of the TV for a movie or drama, I naturally dive into the characters and my name instantly changes to the hero’s or heroin’s name. If you’re too like me, know that you actually can be an actress. Hidden talent! Ahaks

Being expressive when watching is fun, and healthy if I could add. At least for ourselves, not for the annoyed buddies they might go depressed after that haha. Being expressive itself is important in our daily lives because our heart (I mean the heart-shaped hearts) is a storage of limited space. Just like the real heart that takes in blood through the veins and pumps it out to the lungs and other body parts; the blood doesn’t, and in fact cannot, stay there forever or else – I don’t wanna mention scary things.

Same goes to the feelings and emotions that we collected from our days, remember that our heart is just a stopover especially for the negative feelings. It is hurtful to let it stay for long so what do we do? Express it out! Talk to a good-listener friend, write a journal, cry alone or most effectively, cry to God. Don’t ignore the feelings with the thought that it will later fade or be forgotten just like that. Yes, time heals and this is too what I always tell myself when dealing with problems but at the same time, do something in a way that can entertain your heart a little. For example, watch TV emotionally! Haha, does it help? If not, find a better option.

Okay, this means I am done with the task “Snap a Picture & Talk about It”. This is an activity from the book I just finished reading – The Tao of Writing. This book gives me an understanding of writing based the Tao Te Ching – a Chinese philosophy. It’s really basic yet significant, to get anyone who found it hard to write, don’t know what to write about or been losing words; to simply get started. Many suggestions listed but when the eyes met this one I was like, okay easy I can do it now. Grabbed my phone, turned on the camera and saw the TV through the lens. Snapped it up and began writing. I’m done!

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Till the next post,
SALZY

A Day at the Book Fair

Yesterday was a happy day! I took a day off just for the purpose to visit the International Book Fair Kuala Lumpur (PBAKL) at PWTC. The biggest annual event that gathers the most books, one that I always looked forward to attend. This was our (my bestfriends and I) one of many activities that we did together back in our university time. I remember we took an LRT together, a few of us, and spent long hours in the heaven on earth. It’s always so good to have buddies sharing the same hobby. Books bring us together.

It has been a few years since my last visit to PBAKL even though I always planned it earlier, there were always a hitch during that one important week of the year, and that left me frustrated. The feeling of stepping into the book fair was so overwhelming. Haha. I don’t know why, books can really make me happy. At first I just walked freely as I felt I have plenty of time here today! But hey I said to myself, don’t waste time it’s only 6 to 7 hours I have then ting ting ting Cinderella has to come back home!!

And so I did it systematically. I checked out the floor plan and the levels and the halls they had and made a few rounds picking, flipping and putting back the books without buying anything yet. I snapped the picture of some books that seemed interesting, with the prices too. Went for lunch first, visited P. Ramlee exhibition, made another round and suddenly it’s 4 pm and my hands were still free from any shopping bags! I was already exhausted (oh my, so old) and so I sat down somewhere, scrolled up and down the pictures in my phone deciding which ones to buy and to drop.

The next cycle was me like a fast-forwarded cartoon popping in and out from one booth to another transacting those lucky books into my possession. A little mistake that I did not mark which-book-is-where so for a certain moment I wandered around and if I was really a cartoon, you could see me cross-eyed, with question marks above my head. Lesson learnt.

Ended my day at my kinda happy place carrying heavy shopping bags, met some friends for dinner and went home with blistered feet yet still, smiling big. 😀

Till the next post,
SALZY

Book Review and To-do

I just finished a book that is a biography. Title : One Day It’ll All Make Sense by Common with Adam Bradley. The author is an American rapper, actor and film producer. I was attracted by the title that it’s like telling you how life can be full of question marks but in the end, it’ll all make sense.

One Day It'll All Make Sense

So yeah it started out with the story of a broken family that he came from and how from there he went through life achieving his dreams. Nicely written and thoughtful but also too detailed and so many names mentioned. Nevertheless, what I really like is that throughout the chapters, there are passages written by his mother speaking her view of his life from her perspectives.  It’s like a parenting book as well.

At the end of the book, there’s a study guide by Dr. Mahala Hines discussing on the topics to relate the contents of the book with us. For example :

“Rashid (the actual name of Common) writes about love and fear influencing the decisions he makes. How do love and fear influence the decisions you make?”

Something like that. But I’m not interested with that one. I’ve picked these two prologue activities as my to-do’s :

In the prologue, Rashid states, “I also realize that my life is an expression of all those I have known and all who have known me.”
List at least five people who have made an impression on your life. Explain how each person has shaped who you are today.

In the chapter Take It Ez, Rashid wrote a letter to his younger self. His own person who once did not know what the future had in store.
Write a letter to yourself as if you are a thirty-year-old reflecting on your youth.

Now, does this mean I have a homework? Yes, one that has no deadlines 😀

Till the next post,
SALZY