Disconnecting…

During my Umrah trip earlier this year, I disconnected myself from the world – pretty much, the entire time. I wanted to focus myself and my mind totally on the most precious journey of my life visiting the holy lands and performing obligations. Now that Ramadan is coming, I am thinking of doing the same too.

You know, I have this sort of serious addiction to the phone, or social medias, in particular. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, What’s App. These four icons are just enough to shove away my time without I realized it. Sometimes, or most times actually, I just wanted to check something on the phone but that something usually turns to many things. Just so many things coming my way and I just couldn’t take my eyes off of them. Though I can excuse myself that there are many beneficial things I gain from the social medias as well, I can’t deny that time has been wasted so much. Scrolling and scrolling, that is a syndrome already.

Knowing myself well, I was determined to log out from everything and uninstall the apps at all for the whole 12-day trip – except What’s App, with the restriction to only respond to family groups just for quick updates. Time was extra precious I couldn’t afford to miss a thing, just because my eyes were on the phone and stole all my focus. So we weren’t best-friend for a while and one funny thing I found out was that, all the while prior to this trip, I always complained that my phone has grown too old that the battery could only last for less than an hour! When I was in Mecca & Medina, the battery lasted up to 2-3 days before I needed to recharge it. Haha I laughed at myself, amused and shamed at the same time.

And there I had the most splendid time ever. The view, the sound, the serenity were just so indescribable. I think I blinked less than usual. Not only mesmerized by the natural surroundings, I also paid good attention to the talks by the Mutawwif every time we gathered for briefing and on the bus going for ziarah. My mom said that I was lucky to have this Ustaz conducting our Umrah because he is so good. He didn’t only lead us but also instilled the elements of soul fulfilling, which is not what she experienced with other Mutawwif in her previous Umrahs. Ustaz Bakri, may Allah bless him and his families.

Divorcing myself with the phone for some time did not harm. I don’t regret not having a single picture with the two most beautiful mosques, I captured the views in my memory. I did snap more pictures at the hotels and ziarah places. Since I came home, there’s no single day goes by without me re-imagining myself around Masjidil Haram and Nabawi. Sometimes I am at the rooftop, sometimes right in front of Multazam. And I believe I will return some day, InsyaAllah.

Well, my Umrah as a whole wasn’t perfect, there were times I got tired and so sleepy I couldn’t sit straight. When I remember those times, I wish I could repeat my Umrah and patch the flaws I made. That’s what I can hope for but better off, I should look at what I have now – which is the incoming Ramadan the holiest month of all, if Allah wills me.

I plan to disconnect myself as I did and devote myself to more ibadah and related. Its a bit longer then the umrah duration but its still no harm, self, won’t harm. With the list of things ready for me to-do during the month, I think I’ve overbooked myself. Haha.. Being ambitious as always not considering the glitches I might surely have at some points of time. But the intention is there! Hehe..And truly I wanna better myself, even if it after all will only result just an inch of betterment from my current state.

I will always keep in mind these words by Nouman Ali Khan from one of his videos I watched. He explained the Quranic concept on improving ourselves and this is how he put it.. “Allah tells us to pray, all the way to closer – and I’m using ‘all the way’ on purpose. To Allah, you’re getting closer – not the closest, not to the end. You’re making it closer to guidance is the eventual goal. And for human being dies pursuing betterment – not perfection, just betterment – they’ll have, later, a successful life.”

Closer, better. Happy fasting everyone. May, in this month, we find the new contentment of life while striving towards betterment. Disconnecting…⁠⁠⁠⁠

Till the next post,
SALZY

Kids Away Time

It’s Mother’s Day and I’m just here at home with my younger boy. Hubby’s outstation and my elder one is away from home. This boy, he’s also outstation – at granny’s hometown a.k.a his most favourite place! We sent him off for two weeks so we’re just parenting one child at the moment. Less hectic.

Both of my kids are so attached to the kampung, my husband’s side. They got their grandma there, aunties, uncles, cousins and friendly neighbours. Those people who always pamper them with what they want and oh, not to forget the chickens, ducks, goats, cats, rabbits and all the pets you name it. How can it not be fun there?

The very first time I left my son there with my mother-in-law was when we’re welcoming our second born. I was off for my confinement and he was only 1 and a half years old. I missssed him so much I cried most of the time. This mother-child separation is never a good idea I promised not to ever separate with my kids anymore, even for a short time. It’s not only about missing him but of course I was also worried about him, right mamas? His health, his safety. Sure everyone would take a good care of him but the fact that he’s miles away and should anything happen, we’re hopeless!

But then, you know… I come to understand that this is like a family culture. It’s different from mine. My parents won’t request us to leave our kids to them but with my in-laws, vice versa. I was first confused whether or not we should do that because our kids are still toddlers. Like is it right to hand your kids over while you’re home, child-less? My husband is on the other side. He’s okay with the idea of leaving the kids for a while as he knew how his mother really wanna spend time with her grandkids. So I was alone. It’s not nice to say ‘No’ so there you go kids. Have some fun leaving your mom crying at the corner of the bed.

What? No!

The kids are partying with the animals feeling like the king of the jungle while Mom is crying at the corner. of. the. bed? “Come on, Mom. Have some fun too!” – I told myself.

Yeah, after a few rounds of having this child-less period, I learn to control my emotions better. The most important is to appreciate the time that I have for myself and with my husband alone. Rather than worrying the unnecessary things, I remind myself that I have sooo many personal things to do. Things that I can’t do if the kids are also ‘interested’ to join. Like, blogging? Hehe.. This is the time I can write longer posts without pauses. Reading? I do read all the time even when they’re jumping on my body but this is the time I can read in my quiet zone which is so peaceful. Shopping! Without having to rush home because the kids are waiting. I can go for a movie with my husband, try out new restaurants and even pray without being climbed!

Plus, I think, what kind of grudge is that when you don’t allow your kids to be with their granny? Especially the in-law’s side. Some might do that and they sure have their own reasons. But to me, when I flashback-ed the time when I was a kid, I also had these chances to stay at my grandma’s home (father’s side) for a certain period. What if, my mom didn’t allow me to just because it’s not what she favors? Adult issues, won’t it be weird to a kid?

And so I tried to view this kids away time in a more healthy way, not just for us parents. There, they can explore different things from what I cater for them at home in the city. The environment gives them more exposure to the nature. They’re boys! Go play more with natural dirt than just Lego. Both are good anyway. The animals.. oh, sorry. They can’t have this with Mom because I’m so chicken when it comes to approaching animals. Big-family bonding and also the flexibility to mingle with people other than just us the parents.

At home, I apply some rules in hope to discipline them and when they break it, I gotta teach them a lesson. When the time is not right, I become a monster. So sometimes yes, I admit that it’s not all the time fun with me at home. Grannies don’t parent the kids. We, parent the kids. Once in a while when they get to escape to a different atmosphere for quite some time, I guess it’s good for both sides too. After all, it’s only 2 or 3 weeks and then with the will of Allah we will be reunited, blissfully.

At the moment, only my elder son is away so I’m having an exclusive time with my baby boy. Yeah, 2 and a half years old and still baby! He clings to me and I cling to him, oh boy. Happy Mother’s Day 🙂

Till the next post,
SALZY

A Day at the Book Fair

Yesterday was a happy day! I took a day off just for the purpose to visit the International Book Fair Kuala Lumpur (PBAKL) at PWTC. The biggest annual event that gathers the most books, one that I always looked forward to attend. This was our (my bestfriends and I) one of many activities that we did together back in our university time. I remember we took an LRT together, a few of us, and spent long hours in the heaven on earth. It’s always so good to have buddies sharing the same hobby. Books bring us together.

It has been a few years since my last visit to PBAKL even though I always planned it earlier, there were always a hitch during that one important week of the year, and that left me frustrated. The feeling of stepping into the book fair was so overwhelming. Haha. I don’t know why, books can really make me happy. At first I just walked freely as I felt I have plenty of time here today! But hey I said to myself, don’t waste time it’s only 6 to 7 hours I have then ting ting ting Cinderella has to come back home!!

And so I did it systematically. I checked out the floor plan and the levels and the halls they had and made a few rounds picking, flipping and putting back the books without buying anything yet. I snapped the picture of some books that seemed interesting, with the prices too. Went for lunch first, visited P. Ramlee exhibition, made another round and suddenly it’s 4 pm and my hands were still free from any shopping bags! I was already exhausted (oh my, so old) and so I sat down somewhere, scrolled up and down the pictures in my phone deciding which ones to buy and to drop.

The next cycle was me like a fast-forwarded cartoon popping in and out from one booth to another transacting those lucky books into my possession. A little mistake that I did not mark which-book-is-where so for a certain moment I wandered around and if I was really a cartoon, you could see me cross-eyed, with question marks above my head. Lesson learnt.

Ended my day at my kinda happy place carrying heavy shopping bags, met some friends for dinner and went home with blistered feet yet still, smiling big. 😀

Till the next post,
SALZY

EE Turns 33

When he caught his first white hair on his beard his reaction was,

“Wow, the next Amitabh Bachchan is in the making!” 

Haha… This is the very foremost person I met who is that excited about getting old. Normally, people would freak-out. I mean, that’s me.

Yesterday he turned 33, my Husband. I planned to make a little surprise birthday celebration with the kids for him. The best time to teach them what “Surprise” is.

Buy a cake and candles – pick-up the kids early – cook dinner – pray Maghrib – and – get the kids ready to eye at the window checking for their father’s arrival.

That was the plan. Lately has been busy period so I was very sure he gotta come back late!

When I picked-up the kids from the babysitter, I briefed them about what we’re gonna do and they were like, “Ooooo OK OK OK”. Especially my first son, he understood the idea and got excited. On the way up to our apartment, we talked about that too and were like yeahhh let’s do this Ayah’s gonna be surpriseddd!

And suddenly out of nowhere…. GAHHH!!!

-End of story-

My plans met end of story. Why on earth did he come back early today?? I was stunned looking at him laughing a proud laughter that everyone was shocked! We got in the house laughing and yeah he knew it already! He did hear our conversation earlier cesss!

But because the kids were excited and did not understand that the plan has spoiled, I thought we should go on with it. Asked hubby to go in the room and we prepped the cake and lighted up candles. Shouted “DONE!”, he’s out andddd…..surpriseeee!!! HAHAHAHA. That’s it. Our first Mom-and-kids surprise plan for Ayah’s 33rd birthday! Soooo spoiled yet so memorable. ❤

Happy 33rd Birthday My Love. The kids learned something today. 🙂

Till the next post,
SALZY

Our Significant Dhany

When I created this blog, the purpose was to document my pregnancy journey into stories compilation. I was so ambitious to blog every single thing I faced, felt, thought and learned in the journey into motherhood. When my baby is out, I wanted to upload thousands photos of him doing everything, record every milestone he passes and share tips to all mother readers. After four years, everything above becomes – “my bygone dreams”. Haha…Congratulations Mom! =D

While sometimes I feel a bit of regret for not doing what I wanted to do above, I also remember the voyage I surfed as a new mother. The hassle of juggling home, work and baby spared me no time to blog. Hence, four years passed by without a diary for my baby to read about him when he grows up. Pity boyyy…but hey! It’s never too late to start anyway.

Here, specially for my first son’s birthday entry, I sat down with my husband and we came out with a list of things about our Dear Dhany that we don’t wish to forget because they’re so significant to describe our eldest son.

Starting out, Dhany was an easy baby to be taken care of. I know I sound biased but, noo…really! He was really an easy baby. Of course he cried and got cranky at times but overall it was always easily manageable.

As soon as he turned 6 months, it was so obvious he is a Daddy’s Boy. He’s so clingy and more attracted to his father than mom. He loves to play and follow wherever Ayah goes.

At the same time, he is also a Mom’s sweetheart. He loves to pick flowers and give it to Mom. Almost every morning going to work, he will pick one and make my day.

Turning into brother at an early age (1 year 7 months), he made an amazing brother. Errasy is so lucky to have one who always gives in and loves him dearly.

A kampung boy. Being a first-grandchild of the family, he is so close to his Nekma and so attached to nanny’s home. There will always “drama” happens each time we’re leaving for KL. The idiom that says “When mother says No, ask grandma” becomes his mantra! Haha..

When he began to talk, he was really a baby-talker. Almost all words he couldn’t pronounce properly and  I even had a list of ‘Dhany’s diction’ of words that sound very different to what he actually meant. We knew it’s not good to baby-talk to kids but it became our entertainment because we felt cute, haha. After a while, we began to talk properly with him and correct his pronunciation and he’s progressing well.

He’s such a camera-shy boy! Sometimes, it’s quite frustrating to not manage to snap a proper picture of him because he just wont look at the camera. He even would wittingly move here and there and with the not so sophisticated phone of mine, candid won’t do. Whenever we manage to get one smiley snap of him, it’s precious! Like this photo :

Mom&Dhany.JPG

Dear Dhany,

Thank you for being such an adorable boy in our family. You’re a true blessing since day one we welcome you to the world and until the end of time, you will have our love unconditionally. May Allah shower you with happiness, good health and good things all the time. Be a good boy, grow up and learn as much, live your life with responsibilities.

Happy 4th Birthday, Sayang. Mom loves Dhany so much!

Till the next post,
SALZY

Made My Day Enough

The whole world celebrated women on the 8th of March 2017. Companies had events for the women in the offices, they gave flowers or chocolates, shops had discounts specially for ladies, clubs did charity sales for single mothers and the social media timelines were all loaded with the wishes…“Happy International Women’s Day!”

When the world was making us feel special for that one day, I did not even get a single wish from my dear Husband. How sweet is that? Knowing the fact that he is not really a date-conscious person, I was sure he had no idea IWD ever existed. Even for birthdays or anniversaries, I got to hint him earlier so that there won’t be any fights afterwards. Typical man, poor wife..Haha.

So yeah I did not really expect anything on this IWD but still, he gotta feel guilty okay! The next day I said to him…

Me : You know yesterday was International Women’s Day? Of course you know, I even mentioned about it on my FB. You don’t even bother to wish me. *pretentious-sulk*

Him : You’re not a woman! You’re a girl…

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Awwww…. I’m melted! Hahahaha..

Even though that’s such an escape I know!! But still… that made my day enough. Of course receiving roses is special but telling me I’m young as a girl in that spontaneous reaction made me feel so flattered! I accept that and you’re off-guilt, Eddy Erman…only for this time!

Till the next post,
SALZY