Blogging, a Journey

Mission accomplished. Hey, I have reached my target number of blog posts for this year! Yeay.. allow me to congratulate myself for reaching my 50th post in this Salzy Mommyhood WordPress, for 2017. Fifty – that was the target to average about 1 post per week consistently yet obviously I’ve done more than that. Well done, self!

Well, well… I know this cheated a bit. Haha. Because only those ended with “Till the next post, SALZY” are the ones genuinely written by – yours truly. Other posts are just a piece of quote in my Quote-of-the-Day series, some are just straightly copied From-the-Book-I-Read’s so they are not really me writing. Still, the pieces are so meaningful to me hence it’s significant to keep them here in my blog and for sharing with you guys. And hey it’s only August, meaning I still have 4 more months to go so maybe I should renew my blogging goal? We’ll see, we’ll see..

8 months of consistent writing – it’s wonderful, honestly. I’m glad that I took that shot of making a comeback right on the New Year night and did not delay anymore. I found a satisfaction in writing despite the effort I have to make to find time to sit and focus on the monitor. A way to nurture a habit and realize that, when we keep going with the just-do-it attitude, slowly it becomes part of ourselves. If only I could apply this to every discipline I want to pursue in life, I would be a superb human. But no, it’s not that easy. I can apply this in writing because it’s already a passion in me. Other things might be a force that demands a huge motivation to carry on. Well, that’s what life is.

Blogging is also a way to know ourselves better. I just knew that, the best time for me to write is when I am ‘down’. That low period. Sad, worried, stressed, ‘PMS’, disappointed, unhappy, all kinds of negative feelings could be thrusted out by spending time with my other self – blog. It’s not that I rant about the problems I was facing, I talk about something else but the distraction makes me forget about my problems temporarily. It’s like manipulating the commotion I was going through by busily thinking of what to write. Ideas are pouring and words are flowing through my fingers not like other happy time – weirdo me! I also don’t understand why. Haha. And after I finalize a single post with my standard ending, it brings me a sense of accomplishment. It brings back my happy-mood! It’s how blogging works like a therapy to me. Doesn’t solve a problem, but close to it.

Taking this as a journey that has no specific direction, for now. Thinking has never stopped, searching and keep searching. Anything worthy, will be dotted here.

me2017

Till the next post,
SALZY

My Beginning in Toastmasters

Maroon Logo.jpg

Prior to involving myself in Toastmasters, I’ve heard about it a few times and had an idea that it is something related to public speaking. It’s quite popular but I never really knew how it works. When somebody posted about Toastmasters, they would remark it as a place we can learn to improve our skills in communication, presentation and public speaking. I wasn’t really interested because public speaking is never my thing. When it comes to giving presentation, my timid personality becomes so dominant. Frankly speaking, I’m not a confident and skilled speaker.

But in my office, we have this BP Asia BSC Toastmasters Club formed under the company. Employees are encouraged to join for self-development but it’s not compulsory. My boss has been forwarding the info about this programme but I never really bothered to dig further. As this year one of my goals is to get involved in more non-work activities at the workplace, I thought it’s time to give my shot for Toastmasters so I began attending the bi-weekly meetings as guest.

I heard from outside independent clubs, one has to pay certain fees in order to become a member so he or she can participate in the activities. But in here, because everything is sponsored, whoever wants to become a member has to fulfil three requirements:

  1. Give a 2-minute Impromptu Speech during Table Topic Session. There will be 4-6 topics for anyone from the room to volunteer to pick one topic related to the theme of the day and talk about it, spontaneously! The picks could be in a form of vocabularies, idioms or questions.
  2. Take up a roll during the meeting. There are three main rolls to be filled so we can choose any one from these :
    • Ah-CounterThe purpose of an Ah-Counter is to note any speech crutches a speaker made during his speech like ‘ah’, ‘urm’, ‘lah’ or anything that do not have any meaning in a speech. During the evaluation session, the Ah-Counter will announce who made how many crutches.
    • GrammarianA Grammarian is to note grammatical errors or misused or mispronounced words and will advise corrections. Also, every meeting will have a theme and word-of-the-day so speakers are encouraged to use the wotd as much as possible and grammarian will take note on it.
    • TimerA Timer is responsible for monitoring the time of meeting segments and speakers. A speaker must not exceed the given time or else he or she will not be qualified to be nominated for the Best Speaker of the day. Mr. Timer will signal speakers by his ‘traffic-lights’ and ‘ting’!
  3. Perform a 6-minute Prepared Speech on Ice Breaker. This is the very first project assignment in the Toastmasters module.

After fulfilling the third requirement, they will officially welcome us as the member of BP Toastmasters Club and from there we can begin our learning based on the modules provided and present more and more speeches.

As of now, I have completed the first two requirements so the next one is to perform my first prepared speech! I’ve booked a slot in the next meeting and now I’m sooo nervous even though the topic is just Ice Breaker! Haha.. After speech sessions, there will be an evaluation session from an expert who will comment on our speech and will point out any rooms of improvement. That’s the scary part huhu but actually not as scary as it may sound because they are all constructive feedback. But maybe embarrassing a bit. Aaa…

The question now is, why am I doing all theseeee? Is my job not busy enough? Haha. Definitely just for fun. It’s freee but they have limited quota so I better grab it quick! My job and my daily life do not force me to stand in front of many people to speak or present anything. I’m really in my comfort zone and plus, I’m kinda person who don’t bother to challenge myself to do this and that to prove myself to the world but I know this is not healthy. So I’m taking this as a bit of a challenge for myself to improve and become a better person.

Perhaps for some people it’s not a big deal at all but for such a person who is lacking in confidence and with my incompetency in proper verbal communication in English, this is such an enormous big deal! Not expecting a vast transformation in myself but I believe this little effort is not fruitless at all. Prepping my text for my first project speech; Good Luck, Self!

Till the next post,
SALZY

Caesarean is a Gift

I feel called to write about this. Caesarean, a way to deliver a baby that’s usually a second option, the least preferred, the most avoided. Always, caesarean is perceived as an unlucky event for mothers not getting to birth the normal way. Always, we hear in our community, delivering normal is a rizq, a blessing for the mother so when another gives birth caesarean-ly, it’s really common for her to say or people say to her, “It’s okay, no rizq (chance) to give normal birth this time.” Or, we’re “thankful that it was all safe ‘even though’ it was through operation.” Always the case, right? I was also accustomed to that up to a point somehow I don’t feel right saying it that way.

Caesarean mothers, can we stop saying it that way anymore? Saying no rizq or even though… is like focusing on the things we don’t get and marking our labor journey as less fortunate than it should be. When actually, after being told that the operation was successful and our baby has been safely delivered, isn’t it a huge blessing from God? Of course. So when we’re feeling unsettled about not giving normal birth or they (the doctors) shouldn’t rush to decide to cut us open or they should’ve waited a bit longer so the baby might be out vaginally; isn’t it like we overlooked the actual rizq that God has given us which – the chance to go through caesarean process?

Yes, giving birth by caesarean is a rizq. It is a chance for us to experience being cut open to welcome our baby to the world. It is such a wonderful and miraculous process happening on our body while we’re lying safe and sound. In a matter of an hour, the world is shined with the arrival of our baby, our tummy is closed back and we’re forever marked with a golden scar of love. Of course after that we have to endure the post-op pain and restrictions but to me, either it’s SVD (Spontaneous Vaginal Delivery) or Caesarean, each has its own fair share of ease and pain. So when we’re chosen to undergo this process, this is our precious journey and we should be grateful that it happened the way it happened. And for that, rather than saying “It’s okay, no rizq for me to give normal birth”, I think we should be saying; “Thank God, this is a rizq for me to experience caesarean process. Allah has blessed me with the chance to give birth through caesarean. Caesarean is a gift.” Can feel the difference?

Am I trying to say that Caesarean birth is more special than another? No. SVD is definitely wonderful and miraculous. It’s a blessing, it’s a precious journey and it’s also a gift, absolutely. Know that I’m not differentiating these two. I’m differentiating the way we look at things. This is just my opinion and this is what I’ve been holding to myself since a while after the post c-sect of my first born. If you can see, the difference of saying “It’s okay” and “Thank God” is the reflection of acceptance and gratitude; redha and syukur. Acceptance is good, but gratitude is another level to please Allah The Almighty for what He has planned for us. Indeed that how our labor journey took place was all already in His plans, right? Doesn’t He know best?

When I chose to be grateful on top of accepting this, my mind was brought to recall more and more blessings related to the birth of my babies. First was the blessing of getting married, and then getting pregnant, having smooth pregnancies and finally, the arrival of the new bundles of joy that I got to see, kiss and hold. There certainly were ups and downs but still this entire journey is too beautiful to be scratched by the little frustration for having been operated. We mustn’t want to scratch our precious gift, right? And there, a little change in our utterance makes a whole lot of difference.

Till the next post,
SALZY

I’m on Goodreads

Hi everyone! I’m now on Goodreads. If you have an account, feel free to add me, ya? 🙂

goodread logo

Source : Google

I have always been to Goodreads to see some book review or most times to find books from specific authors but I didn’t really maintain my own. Only recently, I downloaded the apps on my phone and I think it’s easier now to update my books so I decided to revive the account with my reading collections.

Now I am busily loading the read shelve with the books I have read all my life. (Really? No.) Just as much as I could recall because some are not in my possession anymore. Those that I’ve read in my college years, maybe my mom had dumped them all. So I’m trying to recall those that I really loved so I can keep them in my Goodreads before they’re totally forgotten.

As for book reviews, I will only work forward. From my currently reading to the next book I’ll be reading. Can’t afford to write for every previous one but you can check the star rating I gave.

Is this fun? I think so. I always have something to comment post-reading so Goodreads will be a good place for me to pour some thoughts, at least for my own reference in the future.

I love reading because really sometimes, a book can make me cry, a book can chuckle for two seconds or even make me smile all day. On the other hand, a book can also cause a debate between me and my Husband! He doesn’t simply accept things that I share though I thought it’s interesting. He will question my points to dry my brain and will come out with his points for me to ponder, where in the first place I thought I was the one who wanna make him ponder! How annoying but I guess, that’s how we grow.

If a book is extra meaningful to me and more elaborative to review, I will definitely dedicate a post in this blog. Always, a book can change or set my perspectives on things. That’s when I need to express it out. So, Happy Goodread-ing!

mygoodreads

Till the next post,
SALZY

A Dream Job You’re Wishing For

BP

I received this letter last week unexpectedly, just because I forgot my anniversary with the company that I stepped in 5 years ago. 5 years! A complete set of fingers to tell me that I’ve been here for such a significant duration. 5 years of undeniable blessings I can say. Having a job, a solid source of income is really something we can’t take for granted of that we should be thankful every day, not only on paydays okay. In total, I’ve been working for 8 years since I graduated and this is the second company I work for. 8 years and 2 companies – pretty loyal, no? Hehe, or maybe just unaggressive in finding opportunities.

I began my career journey in 2009 and what I can say is it was not a good start. The first company I worked for taught me the harsh truth of working life. Unreasonably heavy work load, bad boss, stupid system and sickening people surrounding me every day. It was so stressful and in fact the most stressful period of my life making me traumatic if I throwback the moments. Driving to work felt like handling a cable car – so heavy and the weather was always gloomy all the way to the workplace. In those 3 years, I lost appetite badly and turned from an originally thin girl to almost anorexic. That’s how ugly a bad job could make of me and that’s a true story.

Of course there were still good things I should be thankful for – the knowledge, the experience and there were still nice people I could talk to – and yes I did, thanked God for every little thing I gained from the company. And thank God I have my mom, she was there listening to my whine every time I came home crying. That was all my motivation when dealing with the depression with the hope that things would change for me even though I thought it was impossible. It was my first job and that concluded an impression that working life was never a good thing. I wanted to go back to my wonderful and happening university life but that was just impossible. And it was also impossible for me to not work because I am an adult already, so adults work, adults must work, we have bills and loans now, a pile! So all I thought was, then on and for as long as I’m w.o.r.k.i.n.g, my life is miserable. Nuff said.

But who actually said so? It was just a blind assumption of a hopeless young girl who just began to ‘live’. Who just hasn’t realized and truly believed the power of the Lord who can do miracles. After three years trapped in such a destructive environment, I married my husband and moved to KL. A few months of job hunting, I finally secured a position in here where in the beginning I brought with me the assumptions from my previous work life to the new one, just to be ready to face the “norms”. Amazingly as the days went by, my guesses got all wrong. This place is bliss! The people, the environment, the culture and the boss are all so nice I never thought they existed. Things totally changed as different as night and day. I turned to a positive person, happier and fatter! Haha.. that was due to another reason as well –  being married, exactly.

Alhamdulillah I’m happy here. At the moment, I’m surrounded by the people whom I can call friends, not just colleagues. Work-life balance is something really necessary for employees and this company has it ready. Flexi work arrangement and tolerant superiors who understand our commitments at home, not just all work. Some days are bad days and some people are unpleasant which can’t be avoided anywhere but I choose to focus on the good. This place is my comfort zone.

Of course not everything is perfect and I’m not telling those means to brag that I am the lucky one to have the best job ever. No, I’m still at a moderate level of the career ladder and in fact I am not a good employee enough so how could I boast? What I’m trying to tell is, guys, if you’re having a hard time at your work place or have been going through such a disappointing journey to find the right job I truly, truly understand the feelings, because really I’ve been there. If you could see, Allah tested me for three years to grant me with such a wonderful gift I couldn’t ask for more. If you’re tested even longer or harder, imagine what’s awaiting for you in the future! Allah’s arrangement is beautiful. When He tested me with the stressful job, I was single and had less commitment. My focus and weekends could all be spent at the office and no one got affected. Now that I have a family to look at, He gave me a work-life balance job, a company that’s so supportive towards mothers. Our stories are different but believed; the best is yet to come, right on time.

Two years back, the oil and gas industry was having downturns and that affected the company as well. As a result, it worked through a few cycles of retrenchment that impacted even some of my lunch buddies from other department. It’s so devastating to know that from a steady position you held for years, suddenly being told that you’re out of place. It somehow threatened everyone’s security and belief on the company’s stability, including mine. Things improved after that but the incident somehow serves as a constant reminder to me to rely everything on Allah because anything could happen and that a good job does not guarantee a fine end. While I’m cherishing my time here on this anniversary, I pray that if you’re seeking, soonest Allah will bestow you with the dream job you’re wishing for. Ameen.

Till the next post,
SALZY

Snap a Picture & Talk about It

JemyAira

Happened to be, it’s TV. So what’s up with TV I am going to talk about? I guess let me reveal to you about my behaviour when watching TV. Just so you know when it comes to watching drama on TV, I’m a very expressive person. If the story is funny, I’d laugh my lungs out. If it’s a tearjerker, I’d cry a river that will flow into oceans. Romantic scenes like above, blinking heart eyes. Suspense, I’d panic like I’m the one to be killed or being chased. I would go OMGGGG, Noooo, Dammit!!, Huwarrrr to the highest pitch so whoever watching with me around would surely get annoyed with this temperament but what can I say? When I start gluing my butts in front of the TV for a movie or drama, I naturally dive into the characters and my name instantly changes to the hero’s or heroin’s name. If you’re too like me, know that you actually can be an actress. Hidden talent! Ahaks

Being expressive when watching is fun, and healthy if I could add. At least for ourselves, not for the annoyed buddies they might go depressed after that haha. Being expressive itself is important in our daily lives because our heart (I mean the heart-shaped hearts) is a storage of limited space. Just like the real heart that takes in blood through the veins and pumps it out to the lungs and other body parts; the blood doesn’t, and in fact cannot, stay there forever or else – I don’t wanna mention scary things.

Same goes to the feelings and emotions that we collected from our days, remember that our heart is just a stopover especially for the negative feelings. It is hurtful to let it stay for long so what do we do? Express it out! Talk to a good-listener friend, write a journal, cry alone or most effectively, cry to God. Don’t ignore the feelings with the thought that it will later fade or be forgotten just like that. Yes, time heals and this is too what I always tell myself when dealing with problems but at the same time, do something in a way that can entertain your heart a little. For example, watch TV emotionally! Haha, does it help? If not, find a better option.

Okay, this means I am done with the task “Snap a Picture & Talk about It”. This is an activity from the book I just finished reading – The Tao of Writing. This book gives me an understanding of writing based the Tao Te Ching – a Chinese philosophy. It’s really basic yet significant, to get anyone who found it hard to write, don’t know what to write about or been losing words; to simply get started. Many suggestions listed but when the eyes met this one I was like, okay easy I can do it now. Grabbed my phone, turned on the camera and saw the TV through the lens. Snapped it up and began writing. I’m done!

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Till the next post,
SALZY

Moving House

I never, ever thought this was gonna be one of our agendas this year. After 5 peaceful years of living in our first rental house since we got married, without any calls from the landlord, no rental fees increment, no nothing no problem; suddenly we gotta move out. One fine evening a message came in from Hubby intro-ed by; “We have a problem”. Is that how you announce a bad news? Come on Hubs, it’s not a problem. It’s a BIG problem!

2 months’ notice and that’s it. True headache. I know it’s a common thing in life, people come and go from one house to another before they finally settle down at a proper place for long term. We do look forward to it but we thought it’s gonna be an exciting well-planned experience moving to our own house, not out of the blue like this! But our future house is still way under construction and there’s no chance to extend the tenancy of this house anymore. In an instant my brain was loaded with the hassle of this moving house thingy. The house-hunting, packing unpacking, spring cleaning and whatsoever. I was in denial for a moment trying to tell myself this is not happening.

No point. “This is really happening”. And so house-hunting began. From Googling, to annoyingly driving slowly, to loading the Whatsapp with home pictures – the rooms, the toilets, everything – to viewing and declining; we finally secured an apartment in just two weeks’ time. Booking done, move-in date confirmed.

After this one issue resolved, I told my Husband : “Can you imagine? In two weeks’ time, our life will change!”. 

Hubby replied : “Mom, nothing. will. change. We’re only moving house. The new house is just 5 minutes away from here, walking distance. We’re still working at the same places, route to work no change, the kids will still be sent to the same babysitter, it’s not that they have to change school, it’s not that we gotta do new registration for them. Nothing will change.” *No sweat face*

Hahahahaha. I’ve been making a big deal out of all these!

Hey! I’m a homebody okay. My home is my life. So when my home changed, my life changed. How could you not understand that? But I didn’t even try to explain it. Slowly absorbing his points and for a second I was like, “yeah..nothing change”. Fairly agreeing and calming myself at the same time.

Truth is, I am so bothered with uncertainties. Living in comfort zone sometimes will make us forget that nothing remains forever, or for as long as we like it. This is like an alarm for us to always be thankful for the everyday thing, before anytime it can be taken off from our clutch.

Moving house like now now was never in my programme, but it’s definitely already well-planned by Allah. It looks rushed and head-aching but He made it easy for us. The new place is much better than the previous one. Nicer view and better facilities. Only that, it’s affecting our financial commitment more than the existing as we couldn’t get any better offer than what we secured 5 years ago. It’s just impossible. Believe, and hopeful this will still be within our abilities. May Allah ease.

I am foreseeing 2 years of living in this new place before moving out again as we’re so looking forward to stepping in our own house, soon. Oh, forget it. 2 years is a long way to go we don’t even know what’s gonna happen next week!

Till the next post,
SALZY