“Women find solace and rejuvenation in the company of other women.” – Helene Lerner
In life of an every girl, there must be a moment she’s struck by a feeling of Girl Crush! A feeling of liking another girl. Either she’s an outstanding senior in school, a popular young singer, an acquaintance or can even be, the girl-next-desk? It’s clearly non-sexual, a positive jealousy I might say or more likely, an intense feeling of admiration just because she’s awesome!
I had a girl crush too. That happened when I was only in standard 5 and she was……the magnificent, the one and only….. ERRA FAZIRA!!! A popular actress, singer and also the Malaysian Miss World 1992. Well that’s enough to tell that she’s so beautiful that’s why I liked her!
It started out when I was watching her film titled “Gemilang” in 1997. From there I became her fanatic fan until today and I just realized that it has been a remarkable span of 20 damn years! For 20 years I’ve been sticking to her, following her journey, her ups and downs in life especially in her marriages and with those, all I can say is she has made and is still making a noteworthy biography I adore so much. She’s not just beautiful. She’s a devoted daughter, an independent lady and a very mature person – these three main qualities that attracted me so much into admiring her.
Well, I may be not the kind of fans who’d run to her concerts or events just for the purpose to greet and have a picture with her. I’m not accustomed to that. My old-school mom disregarded this entertainment obsession so I had no access to go see artists. But, every time she’s out on the screen, I’d be on the front line watching without blinking and my mom would be shaking her head. She’s so gorgeous!
I still remember when I was in school, there was a campaign to encourage students to make it a habit to read newspapers daily. So everyday every classroom was supplied with a set of newspapers and that was the time Erra got married to Yusry KRU. For days the media was flooded with her wedding pictures and for that every single day too, I’d be the first one to grab the papers before anyone else. I’d quickly flip the entertainment section and keep the pages away. Hahaha! I didn’t want it to crumple they’re for my collections, “don’t touch”. The cynical boys in class were teasing me they said; I gotta pay for the class’ papers fees. Haha, hello! It’s freee.
After she married Yusry – the famous, the richest boy band in Malaysia – she still worked hard for her career. She got the choice to take-it-easy and rely everything on Yusry but no, she continued working and she said; this is herself, she was born to be independent and that she has her mom she’s taking care of, so she would hold the responsibility on her own. With that, my 18-year-old self was so impressed. I was about to live a semi-freedom life, from there I knew that being a woman, we have to be independent. In certain things in life, we really have to be assured of ourselves and know why we do what we gotta do. My Erra taught me this. Hiks.
Most people who’re close enough to me knew about my thing towards Erra. When she and Yusry got divorced, the news was out on TV and I was alone at home. I was shocked and so devastated but at the same time, my phone was beeping with so many incoming messages from my friends updating and asking me about the divorce! ‘What?’ ‘Why?’ ‘Are you OK?’ ‘Any comment?’ Hahaha… That was so funny.
Oh ya, for your info, we have one similarity. And that is….we’re both MOM! Haha.. Yes, yes… I copied her, exactly! When she had Aleesya and I knew that she was called by Mom, I was again fascinated. She’s so unique okay. So when I got preggy I decided for that too, hehe. It’s uncommon in Malay community and sounds weird when I first announced it to people that my kids will be calling me Mom but later, it’s just natural. I didn’t tell people that I chose it because of Erra but knowing me well, my friends finally found it out! Haha. Whatever, this one thing, we matched!
Everyone’s life is not perfect, and so her. She was engaged once, broke up. Married twice, divorced both. Netizens have all the unproven reasons to criticize her status but she kept it cool. She responded things in a mature way and moved on life. And just recently, her second ex-husband Engku Emran remarried and she uploaded a picture of her with Aleesya and Laudya Cynthia Bella, and posted a very pleasing wish for the couple that touched many hearts including mine, of course. She’s just lovely in her own way, how can I not love her? And the way Emran treated her as the mother of Aleesya after the divorce somehow tells how respectful she is in the eyes of someone who had lived a significant life with her.
Being a girl who crazed over celebrities’ stories on the magazines was typically non-sense. But after 20 years of time travelling looking up to somebody, this has created one of the colors of my life. It’s not just a plain obsession; I knew I’ve learnt a thing or two. From someone who was scarred by life’s tribulations, the scars made her nothing but only more beautiful and till now she’s standing even stronger in a graceful way. Erra Fazira, you’re one of a kind!! I love you and may Allah bless you always. I’ve never met her, but she’s close to my heart.
These are pieces of stories about my Girl Crush that I grew up with ever since I was 11 years old. Nana Nerra, did you have a Girl Crush?
Till the next post,
This is a continuation post from the previous one. Feel free to read it first – Finding the Old Me
First and foremost, let me make an important disclaimer here. In the speech Finding the Old Me, I actually added a spoon of seasonings to enhance the flavor finely. Haha! Actually, the part that I said I spoke in front of many people – no, I did not speak in front of many people back then. The part that I loved to volunteer in class – no, I never volunteered in class. Hahaha…I exaggerated! Yes I was active with clubs and societies but I was just a regular committee and I just led small teams once or twice. And yes I enjoyed class presentations and yes my work life was right as described. My point was actually to distinguish these two positions so I exaggerated the U part a bit. Just a bit, mind me! Haha okay done with my confessions. Let’s move on to a more constructive discussion.
Ice Breaker speech is very basic. It’s talking about yourself so in terms of the contents, you don’t have to climb the Google mountain. The difference is how it’s being delivered. Through my observation in the meetings :
- They talk about their lives based on chronology – from the time they’re born to the present, highlighting significant facts along the way.
- They pick only two or three things about them and they elaborate further.
- They tell a story about an incident or an experience they went through and what they learned that made them who they are today.
I was interested with the second one and I also wanted to tell a story. And so that’s how it turned out.
PREPARATION & PRACTICE
I practiced a lot! Within two weeks prior to that, I acted in front of the mirror every single day. At first, I wrote my text and memorized it line by line but I found it so hard to flow. I sought advice from my hubby and a friend who are very associated with this speaking thingy and they told me not to memorize everything but just remember the points and structure and keep on practicing. I did just that! Thank guys.
TIPS & IDEAS
Okay these are random tips and ideas I scooped out from here and there that might be useful for you :
- Volunteer to speak during Table Topic sessions prior to the day as a practice to overcome your stage fright.
- Have a mutual interaction. Throw a question and self-answer. That would spare a pause for you to hold a moment.
- You may want to use the projector. Display interesting pictures of yourself and share the story behind them (e.g : pictures of you travelling to other countries)
- Describe yourself based on astrology, chinese zodiac or favourite colors.
- Tell the meaning of your name and elaborate the elements that make you you.
- Begin or end your speech with a quote.
- Conclude yourself in 3 words.
- Don’t forget to relate your stories with the audience. Offer something for them to take home.
I was evaluated by the Mr. President himself. One good point I want to remember is that he said I began my speech with a big smile. Some people forgot to smile when in nervous state. So yes, smile! And these are some rooms of improvement for me to note :
- “Too much hand gestures.”
This is the most obvious. That’s my habit anyway but during the speech, I even overdid it. Gotta watch these hands next time. The evaluator said, every gesture should be purposeful.
- “Too static.”
I did not move. I purposely did not move. When practicing, I tried to casually move a step or two but the risk is that I would get distracted and go blank at all. No way! So I glued my feet on the ground. Will practice on this later.
- “Less pauses.”
Those who knew me in-person surely know that I naturally speak like a train. So this is what happened live. Actually I controlled this in my practice. I timed myself and every time it was all reaching 6 minutes. But on real play, my time recorded was only 5 minutes 17 seconds. I was speeding obviously. He reminded us to use the power of pauses for the audience to absorb what we say. Okay!
EXPERIENCE & FEELINGS
All in all, well done, self! I’m so glad I did it anyways. For once I broke through my fear, my self-doubt and timidity with this challenge and what I can say is, knowing my level and competency, I’m pretty satisfied with my first performance. Thank God, Allah eased my say. I’d less fumbles and most importantly I didn’t forget my script because I didn’t bring any notes with me. Because this is the first one, this is the best so far. Hahaha. Now, I’m on to the next. Bring it on!!
Till the next post,
Hello everyone. On 29th of August 2017, I’ve done my first Project Speech at the Toastmasters. Here I’m presenting the text of my speech for anyone’s reference on Ice-Breaker topic and also for my own keepsake. After reading this, you’re welcome to continue reading my next post as I talked about my experience, tips learnt and some ideas for Toastmasters newbies to kick-off your shot. Click here.
Thank you Toastmasters of the Day and Good Afternoon everyone.
My Name is Saleha, and this is my first speech. It’s on ice-breaker, so I’m gonna tell you a little bit about myself.
First, let’s have a flashback to a time when I was in university, 10 years ago.
When I was a student, I was a really active student. I joined clubs and societies, I involved in events and programmes.
And these activities required me to speak in front of many people, give speeches and lead a team.
In class, whenever the lecturer said; “Anyone wants to volunteer?”
I would go… “Me!” I loved to volunteer in class!
And I loved doing presentations! You know in every subject we have assignments and we have to present our assignments? That was the time I looked forward to in every semester!
Well, not saying that I was so goood. But it’s just something that I enjoyed doing.
So… that’s a little bit about myself when I was in U. But that’s an old story. 10 years ago.
Later, after I graduated, I worked. I worked in a position that was….not presentation-oriented.
I didn’t have to speak in front of many people, I didn’t even involve in open communication.
Most of the time, I worked with the computer. And it was really busy it was all about work, work, work.
I didn’t have time to really join events or be a committee in programmes or be active.
So you can see the difference about myself and my life – when I was studying and working.
And I can say that, in about 8 years of my working life, I never really did a proper presentation.
Except one day. That was… in BP already. There was a group of Graduate Trainees, you know..some of you are GTs here.
So this group of GTs, they made rounds from department to department and they were coming to my department.
So my boss asked me to prepare a presentation for them regarding our job scope.
Just to give them a little exposure about our roles, what we do for the company and all.
So I was like… “Okay, no problem, I can do this.”
Buttt….on the day when I was about to present… I tell you, I was so nervous! So scared I was shaking so bad!
It was only 5 minutes simple presentation but my voice was like cracking all the way I couldn’t speak properly!
I tell you… It was a really, really baddd presentation!
So after the meeting I was like… what happened to me?? Why did I present like that?
I was thinking…these people are GTs. They’re juniors. I am senior. And I was just talking about my daily job so what’s the big deal??
It’s something that I know of, of course I’m good at it so why was I so nervous?? What’s so scary about that??
I felt so embarrassed with myself. I felt so embarrased with my own self!
Because, that was the time I realized that I have change… a lot…
From someone who was confident, well-verse. Now I become very timid and… not convincing at all.
So I thought…. I gotta do something! I gotta change myself I can’t stay this way. I wanna improve myself. I wanna find my old self!
But I was thinking… What do I do? What do I do to improve myself?
And suddenly one day, I met Alex (the TM President) at the Career Fair event that day and he explained to me about Toastmasters.
He explained to me on how it works and what it’s all about.
And I was like… oh, this is good. This is what I was searching for! This is the place I can improve my skills. This is the place… I can find the old me! Right….
So… this is why I’m here today. Speaking, in front of you, for the first time.
Taking the challenge, and making a pledge that I will improve myself.
This is my new beginning. Do you think I can do thisss? *Smile wait for the “YES” =D*
A little bit before I end my speech.
In life, always we hear people say that we have to move forward, move forward, never look back.
But to me, at some points of time, we really do have to take a break, pause for a moment.
Look back, and reassess ourselves. And see, how much different have we been?
Better? Or worse?
If better then good.
If there’s any quality in ourselves that we cherished, that is good… Keep it. Never lose it.
But happened to be, because time passed by and life changed from one phase to another. And we also changed.
We’ve become a different person. Someone we’re not proud of. Not like before.
So what do we do?
We do something, to gain ourselves back!
That’s all for today. Thank you very much everyone. Back to you Toastmasters of the Day.
Till the next post,
I think I’m funny. I played around with the Goodreads apps browsing and adding books only to know that I created 10 shelves in total! Haha… Who on earth needs 10 virtual bookshelves when you can actually load thousands of books in only one default Read shelve with no-collapse assurance? Me, and I have my own justification. :p
Here’s the list of my shelves :
Four Read shelves labelled by years? That’s triggered by my date-oriented nature that really thinks I need to group my books based on the year read. If possible, I wanna sub-group them by months, hehe. But of course it’s not necessitous and as years pass by; it’s gonna be so messy to have these 2018, 2019, 2020 and so forth. I think I will just cancel the rest and only maintain the current year and the default read shelve for older books.
Just for now, I wanted to see my collections since 2015 – the year I revisited this hobby after abandoning it for quite some time. My God I’m so good at abandoning things even they’re some sort of entertainment to me. How could it be, self?
Well, I can say that was since I got married or more factually, married to a no-bookworm. My husband, he doesn’t read books! We still remember a moment in the beginning of our relationship; the ice-breaker phase. On the phone, we talked about our favourites and I told him about my reading pastime. I went on and on talking about my favourite books, this book and that book. And he was like.. clueless. Didn’t know what to reply vis-à-vis books and so he tactically diverted the topic into movies. So then we talked about movies. No more books. Haha. It’s funny to recall it now yet funnier to realize that I didn’t grasp that hint telling me that we’re so contradict so why did I marry this man?! Hahaha..
And so 2015 was the year I returned to reading as I was setting up my goals for the New Year, I searched for things that could activate my brain other than just fulfilling my to-do list with the never-ending house chores and life errands. My current collections are all starting from only 2 years ago and it’s growing I’m loving it!
Moral is, even though we don’t marry someone who shares the same interests with us and even if our spouses are more dominant in influencing us to follow their stuff, it doesn’t mean we have to give up things that we love to do. Sometimes we tend to abandon them just because we donned our head with multiple hats. But hey, don’t let our concerns toward others steal the concern over our own selves, okay? While my husband is not a book lover like I am, that wouldn’t space a distance between us.
Till the next post,
From 50 posts to 60 authentic posts for 2017. Whoah ‘authentic’, haha. I mean, me Salzy originally writing from the heart, teehee. Not those wordings or quotes from other people. For the past 8 months, I have written 38 posts in this blog for this year. That means, for the remaining 4 months I gotta write 22 more posts. That’s a lot man! And why am I doing statistics analysis here?
Because, I am a very calculative person. Number-person. Everything on my board I will convert into numbering. How many posts I wanna blog in this month? How many books I wanna read in this week? How many pages does every book have? How many this, how many that? I count years, I count days, I count down. I count everything.
You may think everything I count is purposeful but actually, most of the time, I count for nothing. I just want TO KNOW. Hehe. I need to know it. If there’s any information presented without numbers, I feel so blurry. I can’t brain it in the first place. When it comes to money, I might sound stingy but actually I’m not. That’s all I’m saying. Haha.. Bye!
Till the next post,
I had a conversation with my 4-year-old boy about having a baby. My 4-year-old son demands a baby! No, not a baby. He wants two babies! Two babies for goodness sake, haha. I guess it’s something common for mommies with toddlers to come across this kind of situations. When kids are growing up to an age that they know there are humans littler and cuter than they are, they become so fascinated over and they wanna own them! I think in their minds, babies are the most sophisticated toys they could ever have, so they start demanding for ones. Ready for that, mommies!
While entertaining all his quests about this funny matter, I also came to wondering; when is my time for the next one? My youngest child is turning three very soon so that means, it’s been almost three years since I started calling myself a mother-of-two. Then, when am I going to be a mother-of-three? I have mixed feelings when thinking about it.
First, I do want more children. Having only two kids makes relatively a small family. In my life, I’ve been imagining myself having a slightly bigger family comprising of…four kids? Or three or five. But not two because two is very little even I myself have 6 siblings hehe. Erm, yes I imagine my life. We all do, no? Hahaha. So yes, I’m wanting a baby number 3!
But threeee? Two parents and three kids, outnumbered! Even now we’re so handful with these two boys I can’t imagine handling three kids at a time. Commitment. Commitment. Physically, mentally and the hardest part is… financially. Hmm, well.. I always thought to myself that children are blessings, they bring more and more rizq to us even though the expenses are going to spike up. But hmm again…sometimes my faith is not strong enough that now and again I do feel shaken when staring at the excel sheet of my salary projection, baby number 3 goes out of sight at all. Sigh for my poor conviction.
Baby #3 doesn’t come down straight from the sky! S/he comes through another pregnancy so when pregnancy being mentioned, that also means morning sicknesses, backaches and stretch marks coming altogether. I feel so heavy picturing another round of 9-month tummy hopping but hey that’s not bad. Being pregnant is fun! At least based on my last twos, second trimester onwards were pretty smooth sailings. I enjoyed foods so very much! And it was nice having a tiny resident in me too so yeah I miss being pregnant. Aww..
Giving birth? Erm..this is a little trouble. I had two caesarean deliveries before so surely expecting another one next. When it’s a planned operation, it’s usually smooth and steady so I’m okay about that but there are certain procedures I dislike so much making me feel so reluctant if I had to go through those all over again. But it’s called a package so what to do? Nobody said giving birth is ever easy.
All in all, what I’m craving so much is the newborn baby smell! And of course the baby itself because I love babies!! I miss doing all those baby-thingies like swaddling them, breastfeeding and bathing. Confinement period was bliss to me. The first baby year is gonna be topsy-turvy but also the most interesting one. The phase that will grow us not just in parenting but also in life and as a person ourselves to be.
Anyhow, always, after all the thinking and contemplating, I will collect all these thoughts, embrace and release them all up high to the sky of tawakkul. After all, no matter how I thought of the possibilities and the impossibilities, everything is up to Allah’s plans for me and my family and His arrangement is definitely the best! And even if I am not destined to have any more kids, and that only Edhany & Errasy are my all offspring, I will always be thankful and happy with this little family of mine. These hopes and anxieties are just my current mommy-feelings.
Till the next post,