Pending Draft

Can someone be even more lousy than I am? On my draft tab of this WordPress account, I have more than 20 blogposts that I’ve drafted, but abandoned.. ever since a couple of years ago!

Posts that I’ve written halfway and left them to be continued but never did. Writer’s block! The time when I have things to say but there’s just no words I could find to express them. I just don’t know how to say it the right way. Due to limited vocabulary, yes. Or just… brain jammed. Click save to draft.

Or sometimes, I’ve typed and typed too long only to realize there’s actually no point in there. It’s plain babbling and makes me feel pathetic to let people read them. Click save to draft.

Or sometimes it’s too much information revealed and sounds controversial hence makes me think – end up; click save to draft.

Eventually they end up forever hanging like that, becoming a way to annoy myself when I check the draft tab, today.

For a moment I thought let’s finish up everything and publish all but another moment telling myself to just stop (thinking about) it, clear it all off and start fresh!

Some things are obsolete already, even though they were written by the same person. Our feelings and opinions tend to change from time to time as we go on life day by day experiencing a lot of things. Even our principles, they also could change as a result of understanding a certain issue more than before, or differently than ever. It doesn’t mean we’re being undogmatic. It’s more of a process of mind maturing that happens to those who think, and reflect. It makes one a different person today from who he was yesterday.

That’s why, I once had a conflict to write out my opinions on something as I feel like my words would eat me up someday. I was scared of regretting my words. Scared of disagreeing with my own self after some time. Scared of being judged for something that I would later find out that my point was actually wrong.

Only until I realized that that’s how (one of many ways) humans learn, and evolve over time – from the mistakes they’ve done in the past, from the boat that has gone overboard and irreversible. That’s how life lifts us up to another level, or else we’re just moving on horizontally.

Back to my pending draft issue, what I’m saying is.. Those posts I’ve written before, most of them have become obsolete when I read them now. The feeling then was not the same feeling now so yeah… decided to DELETE ALL.

EXCEPT ONE!

Except for this one post that I think I really need to keep for goodness sake. I have to keep it. I must keep it.

A post written out of a significant realization. An aha moment. Dumbfounded.

It was written I think in late 2017, but I left it hanging as I couldn’t continue. Today I read it again, I know why it was pending. Because I was still lost and confused, and out of words to say. It is still valid as a constant reminder that I’ll always need, so I’m finalizing it now and posting it in the next up – Easier Going Muslim.

As ever,
SALZY

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