A Beautiful Beginning

Circa 1989

I was surprised when my brother shared this picture in the whatsapp group the other day. An old picture of our family over 30 years ago. Oh how nostalgic!! What surprised me was actually because I think I’ve never seen this photo before. Or maybe I just couldn’t recall.. But really, I think no..

Oh my… Look at that.. My parents and siblings. Me? I was the one wearing orange sitting on daddy’s lap! How cuteee! Hehehe… I looked like my daughter, Donna. She’s now one year old and she lovesss to land on my lap whenever I sit down anywhere. Just like that 3-year-old me in that historic picture #likemotherlikedaughter

My parents were in their early 30’s, even younger than my age now. My siblings – only the four of us, we have two more who were born much later and considered as another generation, hehe.

Our home!! Gosh… Our family home back in Kota Bharu, our origin. That’s so ordinary and decent – the worn-out mat, the classic standing fan and especially; the small TV with long aerials up to the sky! Haha… And please don’t ignore the ornament on the TV okay. It’s something like a flower capped in water which was considered as an “in” thing those days. Lol.. We were having tea time, maybe? Oh… such is life, and time has gone by and all we have now is a piece of photo for the memory. 

After having a jolt of excitement staring at the old picture, some kind of sentimental feelings suddenly slipped in the fore of my heart. It seems like whispering to me, “what a beautiful beginning….” 

Really, what a beautiful beginning we had as a family. A decent living and a moderate life – that’s just beautiful. And that was the beginning of all things. 

In later years, our family moved from the original state to Johor Bahru and things began to change. I witnessed the ups and downs of my parents in running businesses and surviving the marriage. At times things turned out to be very complicated and we’re trapped with problems after problems. 

On the surface, we were a normal well-off family but since young I already understood certain circumstances have to be kept private and confidential. It’s called ‘family matters’ and outsiders shouldn’t be acknowledged. I guess, it builded some form of maturity but that also made me a confused girl questioning ‘why is my family like this?’ 

At some points I felt like running away, and at some other times I just dreamed to be somebody else. Those were silly thoughts of a clueless child who had not yet understood the real meanings of life. 

Little did I know, those adversities later became a survival guide for me in going through the journey of my life, my adult life. After all, every family has their fair share of troubles and conflicts that other people don’t even know about. That makes an exclusive part and parcel for each one of us, our private life. 

My beloved family, we come of age through a series of catastrophes, one disaster after another. We endured everything with patience and acceptance but at some points, we broke down into pieces of hopelessness. But time will not stop until it should so we got up again and kept going on those bumpy roads, not realizing that decades have passed.

My family is a gift to me, an imperfectly perfect one that I wouldn’t wanna change a single thing about it even if I could. I will remember that before everything, we once had a beautiful beginning and that was a huge blessing. So, whatever price that life had thrown us along the way even until these days, I’m praying that one day we will all meet a beautiful ending together, in the paradise of Allah.

The life in this world is only temporary, every difficulty we had to face is just a test that one day, will reach its end and we will all make our own separate ways. May Allah reunite us all in one beautiful reunion of neverending love and happiness. I love my families, Lillahitaala. InsyaAllah, everything is gonna be worth it.

As ever,

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