It’s Not About Me

“MasyaAllah, syahid!”

That was the first thing that came out of me the moment I got the news on the passing of Allahyarhamah Siti Sarah due to Covid-19. She passed away in coma after being intubated for days, also after giving birth to her fourth child. A Malaysians’ golden voice, Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi rajiun. 

It was totally heart-rending thinking of the poor lil’ baby and how Covid could wrench a beautiful and happy family just in a heartbeat? May Allah save us all.. 

But thinking of her – Oh My God, what a chosen one! So fortunate, so outstanding…. an ending beautified by a myriad of husnul khatimah qualities. Subhanallah MasyaAllah… I was speechless for the whole day. The live broadcast of her funeral was like picturing a real crowded funeral attended and sobbed by hundreds of thousands of people. How Great Allah is, in this restricted time He could do the impossible possible as He wanted. MasyaAllah again and again. 

Then the whole week, social media were flooded with throw-backs of her, especially the ones with the husband. There was one video in which she told her story of how they first met and the love blossomed before anyone knew it and they got married thereafter. 

What captured me the most was that she said, 

“After marriage, it’s different already. It’s not about me anymore. It’s about him.”

It’s not about me anymore? Wow, what a selfless statement ever, I was overawed! 

But then yes, that’s what about her. She died symbolic as a devoted wife like a highlight of all her other attributes. Many people die of significant deaths; mostly of being generous, religious, kind to people and so on (MasyaAllah Tabarakallah) but she’s being one of a kind; honoured with a special crown of all – Bidadari Syurga. Kinda rare to find a muse like this these days. Wow, just wow.. 

As a wife and a mother myself, being selfless is somehow like a default character. We always have (and want) to put the family first before ourselves in many matters, for example when any of the family members fall sick – always the mother who will be attending, right? 

But if we narrow the scope down to only as a wife, there’s always a conflict between giving your all and taking your rights. I mean, yes..of course there are already guidelines by the religion on how a couple should sail the marriage ship but you know, it’s not that easy. Oftentimes, we have to be going through all the rough winds first until we reach up to a certain maturity level and understand the climate, then only become good at controlling the anchor. 

Today, I’m taking this lesson of Arwah to surmount the orthodox. Allah made it phenomenal undoubtedly for an important message to every woman called wife. 

My husband, he’s a man of passion and determination. It is knotty to infuse it into my veins so I can also be passionate about the same but I guess for every time I have this indifference, I gotta be selfless. So I will whisper this to myself – “It’ssss notttt aboutttt meeee…..” in Yusuf Taiyoob voice tone!

As ever,


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