I was about to write about this but before that I googled the definition first and got this :
Which is yes, the general meaning and my own definition of me-time are somewhat alike. As per the name, it’s self-explained as me-time means it’s all about me. And I thought it’s somehow the same for everyone else too but to my surprise, I once heard from someone who is a stay-at-home-mother who told me that, her kinda me-time is just about freeing herself from having to do house chores but still, she wants and needs to be surrounded by her families especially the kids around her. It’s not about being alone or doing things alone because she’d feel so weird and lonely that way.
Amazing I was totally amazed by that! Being a mother is like a bulk of round hanger but not a typical one, a multipurpose one. Many things, and people too, are hooked on us and make us standing imbalance that at times, we need to be off-hooked for a moment to stabilize our station and that means to leave-me-alone. As long as there are people under my responsibility around, I always feel that I have to attend to them and I cannot really focus on myself or my projects. So this particular stay-at-home mother, you earned my amazement!
And that tells me that everyone actually has his or her own definition of me-time on top of the general one. And even if we’re typical, we’re not totally the same. There must be elements that differentiate how we make the most of our me-time and when to allocate the time out of our busy schedules.
As for myself, I guess I’m good at this. I always make sure that once in a while I will have some quality time for myself to do my things without anyone’s involvement, not even my husband. This might sound selfish, yes. But I actually have faced this dilemma at a point of my life that made me feel pathetic, guilty and confused of what I want, what I need, what I have to do and how I should be. I finally crawled out from the chaos and found my answer. I pledged to love and value myself best and from there I learned to organize my priorities better.
Later on, I got more contented with the changes I made in my life and I feel I’m living wiser. Then, I also learned to re-evaluate things from time to time so today; I want to re-evaluate my definition of me-time. Because, as I got more and more comfortable with my way of life, it might also lead to real selfishness. Because I don’t feel guilty of having my own sweet time for myself, I might also overuse it and leave my other priorities behind. Remember we’re hangers, we’re open for hooks but the challenge is to make it stable as much.
To begin with, my me-time is absolutely my alone time, enough said.
It can be indoor, or also outdoor. A major part of me can be labelled as homey-type. I love to be at home, my home despite the messiness is always a sweet home. I used to have a corner in the living room of my previous house that I located a desk and a bookshelf for me to stuff my possessions. Now, I even have a separate room which my family called it as ‘Mom’s office’. This is where I spend most of my time doing hobbies.
I also love going out, mainly to the malls doing what else? Shopping!! Shopping is absolutely a therapy and I admit that I’m quite a spendthrift. But sometimes I don’t even have a budget to shop so yeah, just window-shopping will do.
To make it valid, I need a minimum of 3 hours of this alone-time and 50% of the time should be spent doing non-housework. Is that too much to ask for? Hehe. Come to think, if it’s just about one-two hours of being at home, the whole time would just be all about me doing house chores. Like it said, me-time is an opportunity to reduce stress or restore energy. So if my energy were all gone to cleaning the house, I’d just get more tired and that means I’m not doing justice to myself. Still, as long as it’s consuming less than 50% of the time allocated, I do regard doing house chores as one of my me-time activities because there is happiness that comes out from the satisfaction of seeing the house cleaned.
Next, my state of self should be productive, not sick and not asleep. If necessary, I’d take a coffee to stay awake and alert. Me-time is not about lying down lousy or doing useless things like; scrolling the phone! That is not me-time but me-wasting-time. But some days are just so blues that I won’t be in the mood at all to even sit straight, what more to function my brain. That’s when the lazy cells decided to king my body so those days, I’d just surrender and do nothing or just sleep. That’s such a poor state of me that’s so disappointing sometimes. But for some other time that I’m in the most dynamic mode, I’d utilize my brain as much too.
It depends on the individual on how frequent they want to isolate themselves away for some me-time. Some people only need a half an hour a day for some meditation moment and that’s enough for them to rejuvenate but they need to have it daily. Some people need two weeks long to get away for a vacation so they will come back recharged for a longer term. Like me, I need more than 3 hours to complete my tasks I’ve planned to do or to go out to find things, so it’s definitely not every day. The least possible, I need to have it at least once or twice a month. During non-busy periods, I’d just take a day off but if a month seems to flash so fast and my missions are still not accomplished, I’d rather sacrifice one night to stay up because I’m such a midnight person. The best is if I could have it every once a week, that’s pretty lavish already.
Lastly, the outcome of my me-time must be therapeutic. Anything, anything that can make me h.a.p.p.y and bring me p.e.a.c.e. of mind.