Blogging & Me

It has been almost two months since I started blogging again. Seems that I really stick to my resolutions. So far, not including this post, I posted 6 entries in each month. Yeah, I know it’s a very low statistic for bloggers but hey, for such a ‘newbie-not-so-newbie’ like me, it’s really an effort..kuddos! :p

Blogging is writing. Writing is a way to express ourselves, writing is also thinking on papers. And blogging is a way to document everything in one place. The very first time I blogged was 10 years ago in my university years. I wrote about my campus life, friendship, love stuffs like that. It’s like a diary open for everyone to read about my life and my thoughts.

Growing into adulthood, I found myself becoming more like a private person. I became more reserved about my stories for public openness and kept it for sharing with only my close people. It’s simple but maybe I was a bit of a complicated person. To me, people could be judgemental on every single detail I shared on the Internet. They will judge and critic about me, my life, my past like they really ‘care’. So I stopped blogging.

I do blog-walking and sometimes I stumbled into my old blogs. Re-reading all my rambles since my younger years, it doesn’t only bring back memories I’ve been missing but also the yearn for writing. It makes me miss blogging so much! True that some of my expressions were non-sense, it is still fun..yeaa I was immature but hey, that’s just the old silly me. Above all of the feelings re-reading my old journal, I thanked myself for the time and effort I made for authoring the stories. Blog is really a personal value I would cherish.

Fast forward 10 years and making a comeback, I view blogging as a channel for me not only to express my thoughts openly but more proficiently. Practice makes perfect. If we wanna improve our writing skill, we have to keep writing. I used to be very meticulous on each entry I’m going to post. It took me so longgg to write a single blog post just for me to find the right words to use, a single typo would annoy me and I would re-read many times before I clicked “Publish”. That was the reason I couldn’t make time for blogging.

Those manners should be abolished. Personal blogging is casual I shouldn’t try to be too perfectionist or else I just won’t move forward. The point is to deliver my points as long as people can understand, that’s find, right? Along the way, I hope I will develop my own writing style and be more comfortable writing from anywhere, the words will just flow..

Till the next post,

SALZY

Finding Balance (Reblogged)

Taken from https://wanderandevolve.com/2017/02/19/finding-balance/

“It is crazy how drastically different each day can be. Some day I wake up, take a long walk, swim laps, do yoga, clean the house, run errands and make dinner and still have energy to burn. Other days, like today, I wake up at 5am, get Tom off to work then fall back to sleep for 4 hours, only to wake up feeling more tired and with not much motivation to do anything. I sit on my yoga mat, stretch my legs for 5 minutes, lay down, and start to doze off again. The house isn’t clean, my to-do list hasn’t been touched and when I look around the room, it just reminds me of all the things I ‘should’ be doing.”

“I am getting really good at listening to my body, finding balance and accepting the lazy days. If I am tired, I try to sleep. If I want to be super active and get everything done, then I do it. If I want to be lazy and not leave the house all day, then I just relax.  I think balance is so important in life. Allowing yourself to be crazy busy one day and do absolutely nothing the next. Not feeling guilty if you didn’t get as much done as you ‘should’ have. Not stressing yourself out over the little things.” – by Nikki, from Wander & Evolve Blog

What I Learned From 5 Years of Marriage

18 February 2017 was my 5th wedding anniversary with my beloved Husband. They say, the first 5 years is the first phase of marriage. That means we’ve passed the first phase but what’s the score? Question is, how many phases does a marriage have? Haha.

So what has 5 years taught me so far? A lot! Too many.. Rewinding 5 years, I believe the person I tied the knot with is not completely the same person anymore. Same goes to me! Time changed, things changed, people changed. We went through a lot, we grew from just a couple to parents and to parents-of-two. We love, we argue, we discuss, we fight, we rekindle and repeat. Enduring and enjoying everything in 5 years, these 3 marriage lessons I’d love to share.

BEING A SUPPORTIVE PARTNER. “Behind every successful man, there stands a woman.” But the woman is not only standing. She has to faithfully support her partner for what he chased for. The problem is, how are you going to support a partner doing something you don’t like? Here comes tolerance. Tolerance can be the most common advice we hear about marriage but one that takes the most effort too. Marrying someone who loves Motorsport so much and devotes himself into it, while I have no idea and no interest about it all, was no fun. Tolerance is just overrated, ignorance is better. So I never really involved myself into his activities and avoided any conversation related to it. When he wanted to chit-chat about his rides, I changed topics. When he watched racing shows, I left.

Until I realized these behaviours slowly bored our marriage, I decided to change. I love him and love is about accepting the total person, including his pursuit. I changed my prayers from hoping him to stop doing what he’s doing; to asking Allah to open my heart to love and support my husband’s true passion. I ask Allah to keep him safe all the time, keep myself calm from worrying so much on the risks and a lot more. I also pray for Allah to reward him with winnings if it’s good for him. After all, I thank Allah for destining this kind of partner to me. It’s not that I have an abusive husband! And you know what? Wonderfully since then, I see more rezeki coming his way in that aspect. He began to get opportunities to join track days at the Sepang Circuit, built a team, entered the Malaysian Superbike Championship 2016, received sponsorship and won podium positions. Alhamdulillah. It’s not that I’m saying it all because of me, but I learned that by supporting my husband, for the sake of Allah, we are happier.

RESPECT FOR FAITH. Generally, we respect people for some qualities in themselves and one of them is for being responsible. If someone who has the responsibility on us (in any other aspects, not marriage) and he or she is really responsible, we’d respect him for what he is or what he’s done. Sometimes, we choose not to respect the person because he is not fully responsible so he doesn’t deserve it. Common humane behaviour.

But in marriage, respecting the husband is an obligation come what may. Do we have a choice not to? Yes, it’s the same like choosing to go straight to hell. Nauzubillah! But then again,  being a normal human and standing on a position titled ‘Wife’, I can’t avoid being selfish and demanding too. From the basic necessities to extra money to household chores to emotional attention to children to future plannings to everything; so I will respect him. Because? Those are his responsibilities. Question is, are we married to a perfect person? No, nobody in this world is perfect, nor our partners or ourselves. Still, obeying the husband is the key to Jannah. We can’t apply that common humane behaviour, above, in marriage because that’s not what we’re taught of. That’s why we are always reminded to say “I love you for the sake of Allah”. Have faith, remember the reward that Allah has promised and remember the punishment too if we don’t! 😥

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PRAYERS CAN CHANGE. Everyone has a dream marriage or nowadays what people hashtag : #relationshipgoals. We want partners who tolerate, communicate well, be there when in need, is pious, loyal, all ears, appreciative, romantic…all sorts of qualities. And these all, we can mindlessly gain them in the beginning of the marriage, sounds right? Newlyweds oxytocin hormone :D. But along the way with our daily routines, occasional problems arisen and also knocking parenthood, we might overlook our partner once and that only can stop us doing our loving acts and slowly fade the spark in the relationship. Or, you never even had the kind of relationship you wanted? You’ve tried but all you get is frustration? I tell you, prayers can change, prayers do change. To me, stop putting so much effort to gain our partner’s attention because we are women. We don’t chase. Men come to us. Hahaha… Jokes aside, prayers work miraculously. If you believe in your #relationshipgoals and it’s for the sake of Allah, never stop hoping. Pray harder.

Entering the 6th year and more to count, I am pretty nervous of what’s coming. The past 5 years were a bumpy ride but we made it thus far. Things I mentioned above are still the things I’m learning to master. This post serves as a reminder to myself in the future. If you found it beneficial to you, I’m happy. If not, I apologized and please take it as words from just a 5-year-old girl in the world of marriage, still young! 🙂

Till the next post,

SALZY

Stop Being Greedy

It was only 2 months away when my mother offered me to join her for Umrah this round. She has been planning for it since a year ago and I was not in the list. So two months could be quite a surprise for me! My beloved mom was sponsoring the whole fees and I just had to prepare myself and stuffs so it’s definitely a “YES, I’m going”.

kaabah

If we dived into the heart of every Muslim, deep down inside there must be a spot of desire to touch down the Holy Lands Mecca and Medina. These two places of worships are the cities that never sleep. Despite the huge crowd at all times, it is also a place that you can find true peace and serene.

I am no difference. I was too happy and excited to visit the dream place of mine but…knowing the fact that my husband is not joining us disappoints me a little. I also have to leave my two toddlers again after the UK trip previously. I was thinking…erm, this is not what I want. I do wanna go for Umrah but of course I wanna be accompanied by my beloved husband. Couples that pray together stay together, no? I felt like it’s gonna be an imperfect trip of me going “alone” leaving my important people behind. Erm…but that’s okay.

And when I started to inform people that I’m going for Umrah and that I’m going with my mother and brother, my husband is not is joining, kids are not joining, I instantly got the responses like…

“Whyyy are you leaving them…??”

“Oh it’s not gonna be fun!”

“Yeah, travelling with kids is a little trouble but separating with them is worse!”

“Pity those kids being left by mom for weeks”

“If I were you, I just can’t!”

Darnnnn….!! Those mommy-sensitive words were hitting me like a rock. My excitement all gone in a second and I suddenly don’t feel like going. I started to ramble to myself; ‘I should just wait till the time we can all go together’, ‘it’s not gonna be a meaningful Umrah for me’, ‘this is not what I want, this not what I want’. I cried.

I cried, I cried and I istighfar. I istighfar countlessly until it calmed me down and I started to think…wisely and talked to myself;

“This opportunity, is like a dream comes true. This is what I have been praying for my whole life. It comes sooner than I ever thought. It comes in the easiest way…an offer of thousands of dollars without me having to beg for it. I am going with my beloved generous mom and I am going to spend the whole time clinging with her doing her favourite things at her favourite places. A place that I can feel the nearest to the Prophet s.a.w.. A place of Baitullah.”

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Darn! Again…I was like suddenly awaken from my reverie and fired by “Hey, Stop Being Greedy, Woman!” shouted from all around me!

Greedy. Yes…that was it! That was the reason for all my dissatisfaction and disappointment! I am greedy. I have got what I can call a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that was not only dreamed by me but many other Muslims but I was still not thankful enough and focused on what I don’t get. Oh human, that’s just too bad. 😦

That was my moment of wake-up call. I beat myself and Istighfar some more feeling what a bad slave I am but somehow thankful that I realized it early. Suddenly a feeling of joy and excitement embracing me fully and I just couldn’t wait for my trip. And those mommy sensitive responses? No, that’s not for me. My friends didn’t mean to make me feel bad. Those are just normal reactions and I was just too sensitive. Of course I missed my kids so much but being away to focus on my obligations to the Almighty is my priority too.

Stop being greedy, people. Gratitude is the source of happiness while greedy is totally the opposite. I remember another episode of me being greedy and repented, began to thank more and things changed afterwards. Not keeping this post any longer, to be continued.

Till the next post,

SALZY

My 2017 Has Just Started

It’s February and my 2017 has just started. Yes, I just came back from my Umrah trip from 20th until 31st of January 2017. Subhanallah, it was a very meaningful journey to me. It’s my first time there and I hope it’s not the last one. Also, it’s a good start for my 2017 and I’m thankful for the opportunity that came sooner than I ever thought. Truth that Allah is the best planner and it’s never a waste to put our hopes in Him. He, indeed, listens.

In January, I only spent my time preparing for the trip; from learning the stuff until packing the luggage, and also arranging my work at office to be left for my colleagues while I’m away. Now that I’m back, fresh and ready for 2017. Haha, isn’t it too late already? No! It’s never too late to start anything that you ever wanna do. As for myself, I have got my resolutions ready by December.

Here’s my resolution lists categorized accordingly based on 9 Life Areas for Goal Setting by Travis Robertson. Usually I just list down things randomly but now when I go by categories, it gets me more focused.

New Year Resolutions 2017.JPG

There goes, briefly :). More details are in my planner, hehe.

A new year resolutions is a must to me. It is like a compass for me to refer when I get lost. In anytime of the year, there are times we would feel sluggish and life is just slow moving and unfocused. Like erm…post-vacation mode? Post-festive or after an illness defeating us for a day or two. Yeah, anything that relates to a break will require such an effort to get back on track. Don’t waste time! Remember that you have a goal in life and in the year..get back to your “compass” and get the momentum to restart.

Now is the time for me to get moving. The Umrah trip has promoted me with more spirit to live a purposeful life. Except the fact that I am missing my kids so much I haven’t seen them since I am back a week ago. But it’s okay, this week is ending quick I’m running to them in no time! Have a great year ahead, everyone!

Till the next post,

SALZY